Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Me: Wow, that’s one hell of a hot tip, Hot Teacher. I’ll definitely keep it in mind the next time I’m fortunate enough to have a bare ass in my face.
Hot Teacher: Would you be willing to send me a selfie? For research purposes, of course. I want to see what we’re working with here, so I can give you the best possible advice.
Aw, fuck.
This is a good news bad news situation. On the one hand, it can’t be a coincidence she’s only asked for my photo now, after our conversation took such a decidedly sexual turn. Doesn’t this confirm she’s at least slightly curious about me now? That’s good news.
On the bad news front, though, I’ve been enjoying my anonymity with this sexy stranger. In fact, I’m sure I wouldn’t have said half the shit I have, if it felt like she was staring into my eyes throughout the entire conversation. What if she sees my baby face and decides she isn’t physically attracted to me? What if she feels like she wants to pinch my cheeks and poke at my dimples, the way so many women have done, but doesn’t feel the urge to pinch or poke anything else?
Fuck!
But what choice do I have, really? If I balk, she’ll assume the worst—that I’m unwilling to send a selfie because I think I’m hideously ugly—which I don’t—and that assumption would kill any chance I might have of meeting up with her, regardless.
Me: Yeah, sure. You want a photo of me smiling? Smoldering? A mugshot?
Hot Teacher: All of the above. To be clear, this is not a request for a dick pic, Grayson.
Me: Didn’t think it was. Photos coming up.
With my pulse pounding in my ears, I snap all three requested selfies from different angles and send them off, before sitting and waiting for what feels like an eternity for her reply. Intellectually, I know her delay is probably due to my three photos taking a while to download on her end. Emotionally, however, I can’t help wondering if she’s staring at my face and thinking, “Well, that explains Katie giving him a fake number.” Finally, though, when Hot Teacher’s text lands on my screen, it’s even better than I’d allowed myself to hope for.
Hot Teacher: OMFG! You’re a smoke show, Grayson-hopper! A snack and a half! Look at those beautiful green eyes! Those cute dimples! Those perfect teeth and dark lashes! Stupid Katie! Stupid ex-girlfriend! They’re fools!
Feeling like I’m about to keel over from excitement, I type out a reply that says, “Your turn now!” But quickly delete it before sending. There’s no doubt in my mind she’d say no to sending me a photo. So, why embarrass myself by asking?
Me: Thank you! The facial hair is new for me. You think it looks good or should I go back to being clean-shaven?
Hot Teacher: Don’t change a thing! You’re perfection! I swear, if I dated younger men, and if you were looking for nothing but a good time, then I’d be VERY tempted to give you some white-hot tips in person, if you know what I mean.
Okay, that’s it. I can’t hold back a second longer. I have to shoot my shot with this woman, right here and now, or I’ll never fucking forgive myself.
Me: Well, shit, Hot Teacher, let’s do it! Meet me for a drink tonight and let’s see if our amazing chemistry is still blazing hot in person!
Hot Teacher: You’ve never even seen me.
Me: Hence, the reason I’ve asked you to meet me for a drink, in person.
Hot Teacher: Down, boy. What I said was “if” I dated younger men, which I don’t. And “if” you were looking for some casual fun, which you’re not.
Me: Okay, then, we wouldn’t call it a date. Let me buy you a drink to thank you for hyping me up and giving me such great advice.
Hot Teacher: Look at you go! And you claimed to be bad at flirting.
Me: Does 8:00 at Captain’s sound good?
Hot Teacher: I’m tempted. But I don’t think so, honey.
Me: Let’s look at this logically. I’ve surmised our age gap is 5-15 years. Correct?
Hot Teacher: Yes, it’s in that range.
Me: Okay, then our age gap is totally irrelevant. “Stacy’s Mom” wasn’t a massive hit in a vacuum. The song was such a huge hit because getting with an older woman is a HUGE fantasy for most guys. (Google the song if you don’t know it.)
Hot Teacher: I know the song, and I’m certain older women with fantasies of their own had a lot to do with it becoming a smash hit. But even putting our ages aside, there are additional reasons for me to say no, including the fact that you’re looking for a girlfriend, and honey, that’s not me.
Me: Okay, I concede I WAS looking for a girlfriend at the beginning of this conversation, but your sage advice has made me realize there’s no rush for me to settle down again. I’m only 25 and in my sexual prime, like you said. So why not get out there and bite some asses, maybe even beginning with yours, before looking for my next girlfriend?