Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Hot Teacher: LOOK AT MY LITTLE GRAYSON-HOPPER GO!
Me: The bottom line, Hot Teacher, is that I’m highly curious to meet the incredibly sexy, easy-to-talk-to, confident woman who somehow managed to make me feel STOKED I got a fake number last night. At the very least, let me buy you a drink to thank you for bringing such an enormous smile to my face (and even more enormous boner to my pants).
I press send and instantly want to take it back. Why the fuck did I add that last thing about my boner? And even worse, why’d I call it “enormous?” Now, if by some miracle she actually says yes to meeting me, and then lets me bite her ass, she’s going to have the highest of expectations about what’s hiding behind my pants! How would that be a good thing for me?
Okay, calm down, Grayson. It’s the truth, right? You’ve got a massive boner, literally and figuratively, for this woman, the likes of which you’ve never felt before. So, why not admit that to her, especially given what she said about sexual confidence being highly attractive? Plus, she’s the one who initially broke the seal on dirty talk by saying that thing about ass-biting in the first place. So, cool your jets.
The truth is, this mystery woman makes me feel like I can say whatever the fuck I’m honestly thinking, and she’ll either encourage me, or tell me “Down, boy.” But she won’t hold it against me. I don’t know why I’ve suddenly morphed into a swaggering, Max-like lady killer with this stranger, but, damn, I feel high from the unbridled confidence she’s pulling out of me just this fast.
Hot Teacher: *sits up in tub and literally slow claps* That entire text was fucking amazing, Grayson! Sexy, confident, and funny. ALMOST made you utterly irresistible to me! Sadly, however, as mentioned, there are reasons for me to say no to meeting you tonight, in addition to my qualms about our age gap.
Me: Tell me all the reasons, so I can knock ‘em down, one by one.
Hot Teacher: 1. For all I know, you could be an axe murderer. 2. I’ve already got plans to have dinner with my girlfriends tonight.
Me: Only two reasons? Pfft. 1. Every guy you encounter, whether in person or via a wrong-number text, could turn out to be an axe murderer. I’d argue I’m far less likely to be an axe murderer than some other random guy, based on me sending you those photos. If I was planning to chop you up, would I have sent them to you? No way! Especially not the mugshot, which would prove awfully convenient for police during their eventual investigation. 2. Captain’s closes at two, so there’s plenty of time to meet me AFTER your dinner with friends. Or, hell, since this wouldn’t be a date, bring them along with you for after-dinner drinks. All drinks for you and your friends are on me tonight!
Hot Teacher: Good lord, you’re persuasive! But I’m sorry, upon reflection, I can’t look past the age gap thing. It’d be too weird for me to mess around with a guy who’s not old enough to have fathered my 13-year-old.
Whoa.
Hot Teacher’s got a thirteen-year-old kid?
That information momentarily throws me for a loop. But quickly, I’m able to shake it off and realize the revelation doesn’t change a damned thing. Of course, she does! She’s probably in her late thirties or so, if my hunch is correct. Maybe even her early forties. Plus, she’s divorced. So, it makes sense for her to have a kid around that age. In fact, when I think about it, I realize it’d probably be easier to date a woman with a 13-year-old than one with an infant or toddler. Hell, it might even be fun.
Me: Are you looking for a new daddy for your kid?
Hot Teacher: Abso-fucking-lutely not.
Me: Then it’s a non-issue, as long as we’re both adults. Which we are.
I hold my breath as three dots wiggle underneath my most recent text . . . and then disappear. Fuck! I quickly tap out a message, determined to stave off any kind of definitive rejection from her before she makes a firm decision.
Me: There’s no need for you to decide right now. How about this? I’ll go to Captain’s tonight around 8:00 and stay put until a) you show up and say hello, or b) the place shuts down and kicks me out. Either way, I’ll be there tonight, and the ball will be in your court.
Hot Teacher: That sounds good. I’d better get ready for dinner with my friends now. I've had fun talking to you.
Me: I've had fun talking to you, too. Have a great time with your friends. I hope to meet you later. But if not, thanks for turning something embarrassing into something incredible.