Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Unknown: I love Captain’s. Best martinis in town! I’ve never been on Singles Night, though. Is it every Thursday night?
Me: Yeah, at least at their Seattle location. I don’t know about their other ones.
I’ve already been thinking this mystery person is a woman, based on the tone of the conversation. And she’s presumably single, too, given her interest in Singles Night at Captain’s. And so, with that profiling in mind, my latest message is my way of trying to confirm that this presumably single woman is located in Seattle, like me. I’m assuming she is, based on the area code of her phone number. But with the transportability of cell phones, you never know if someone resides where their number would suggest.
Unknown: I’m in Seattle. Wouldn’t it be a funny coincidence if we got to talking one night at Captain’s and both suddenly realized we’d already had this text conversation?
Well, it wouldn’t be a funny coincidence if we made a date to meet, I think. But that thought is immediately followed by, Calm the fuck down, Grayson. You don’t even know for sure if this person is a woman. And even if she is, you have no idea what she looks like or how old she might be.
I tap out the question “What’s your name?” But quickly delete it without pressing Send. If this third fake phone number has taught me anything, it’s that coming across as too friendly and eager is a turn-off to women. Obviously, I need to take a chill pill.
On the other hand, though, I’d hate to wonder “what if.” If I don’t shoot my shot with this mystery person, how will I ever know if the ball would have gone into the net? I begin typing my reply, deciding to try to nudge the conversation in the right direction, while still, hopefully, not coming across as too eager:
Me: Yeah, that’d be funny. If ever I bump into you there, I’d want to buy you a drink to thank you for taking so much of your valuable time to give me a pep talk.
Unknown: No need to thank me. I’m enjoying talking to you! You’re obviously a sweetheart, which I’d already surmised from your darling text to Katie. It’s her loss, Grayson. And as far as me taking my “valuable time” to talk to you, I waited until I was doing nothing but relaxing in a bathtub with a big glass of Chardonnay to text you back. Sorry if waiting all day to get a response to your dinner invitation was stressful for you. I would have texted sooner, but I had a hectic day at work.
Okay, that settles it. She’s a woman. Because a dude wouldn’t be taking a bath, for one thing, and especially not with a glass of white wine. Also, a dude wouldn’t have called me a “sweetheart” and said my text to Katie was “darling” and that missing out on me was “Katie’s loss.” Plus, there’s no way in hell any man would even think to apologize for not responding to me sooner.
Hot damn! Now I really want to know more about this mystery woman. How old is she? What does she look like? And most importantly, assuming she’s within striking distance of my age, is she game to get out of that bathtub right now and meet me at Captain’s for one of their renowned martinis?
Me: I’m enjoying talking to you, too. And no worries about your delay in replying. I’m grateful you replied at all.
Unknown: If you don’t mind me asking, how long were you with your girlfriend?
Me: Five years.
Unknown: That’s a long relationship. How old are you?
Me: 25.
Unknown: Well, shit, that explains everything! You might be 25, but you’re more like 20, in terms of your experience with flirting and dating. No wonder you’ve still got a bit to learn. You’ve only been practicing on one woman for the past five years. And those were some particularly formative years for you.
Me: That’s an excellent point.
Unknown: Just keep putting yourself out there, and I promise you’ll get more and more confident with flirting, which in turn will make you more and more attractive to women. If there’s one thing women find irresistible, it’s confidence. Confidence turns an attractive person into an irresistible one.
Me: That explains why my buddy is so successful with women. Whenever we go out, he acts like an arrogant, cocky jerk to women, and they practically line up to go home with him.
Unknown: Good lord. Do NOT emulate that strategy, unless, of course, you’re only looking for casual sex with 20-somethings. No judgment, if you are, but that’s not the vibe I got from your text to Katie. If you’re looking for an actual relationship, as I suspect, then aim to radiate confidence, but not cockiness. And always treat women with respect.