Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
The doorbell rang, and Mark announced that his mechanic friend, Jake, was stopping over for dessert so they could catch up before Mark was back on the road again. They’d known each other since childhood, and it was nice to see they kept in touch.
I’d met him before, most recently when he helped replace my tires, so I lifted my hand in a wave. I introduced Jesse and then Seth, who totally blushed and had trouble meeting his gaze. It was true that Jake was handsome, and Seth seemed painfully shy, but that was an odd reaction even for him.
After cleaning up and loading the dishwasher, we ate slices of store-bought pies, which would never measure up to Jesse’s mom’s. I could sense him growing warier as the evening came to an end. I suspected it was because of his upcoming travel plans to see his family, but I couldn’t be certain. I hoped for his sake that it was at least peaceful.
But I’d definitely miss him, and that revelation was like a punch to the gut.
I lifted my phone and texted him across the room.
Any chance you can stay and I’ll drive you to the Greyhound station?
I watched as he looked down at his phone and read my text. His sly grin made my stomach dip, and when he glanced up at me with softened eyes, it left me breathless.
We’d have to get up early and get my bag from my place.
We can do that.
Then it sounds perfect.
Except after Seth thanked us and Jesse walked him out, I noticed he kept rubbing his temples.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked as he closed the door behind his friend.
“Yeah, just feel a migraine coming on,” he replied, his forehead crinkling. “I get them sometimes, especially if I’m stressed.”
My fingers reached up to rub his shoulders. “Nervous about going home?”
“A little,” he admitted, then sighed. “Okay, a lot.”
Fuck. That same feeling rose inside me again, of keeping him close and protecting him. “C’mon.” I nudged him toward the basement steps. “Let’s get you in bed so I can take care of you. Hopefully, it’ll pass.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to.” I kissed his cheek. “Is that okay?”
Jesse looked at me, really looked at me, as if searching for the underpinnings of truth in my eyes. I stared back, steadfast in my conviction, until he nodded and let me lead him downstairs.
33
Jesse
I felt naked without my makeup.
It was weird because when I was home in Portland, I could decide not to wear it one day and be fine. It wasn’t something I wore every single day anyway, but when I was home, I needed it. Wanted to wear that piece of me that was my armor, that was my fuck you to anyone who didn’t like it. Wanted that part of me that made me feel confident and settled and like I was honest and exactly who I was supposed to be.
But I never wore it at the farm. Never wore it around my parents. And that made me feel like a liar, like this muted, toned-down version of myself that I had to be for someone else.
“How was the bus ride?” Dad asked from the driver seat of his old, beat-up Chevy. His voice was deep, this raspy sound that was a little more hoarse than it usually was.
“It was okay.” Neither of us knew what to say after that. Well, I didn’t, and I assumed he didn’t either.
The farm was about thirty minutes from the Greyhound station. He fiddled with the knobs on the radio, country music drifting through the speakers. I could handle just about any music other than country.
I made it ten minutes before I sent a quick text to Dane. Hey…in the truck with my dad. What does a queer go-go dancer who loves makeup say to his super masc, farmer father who thinks he’s going to hell? LOL.
It only took him a couple of minutes to reply. You don’t have to make it into a joke, Jess. It’s okay if this is hard. I’m sorry. I wish I could be there with you.
A few things hit me at once. First, he’d called me Jess. Dane had never done that before, and it made me feel all marshmallowy inside. Second, he was right. It was a whole hell of a lot easier to turn this into a joke. It was always how I dealt with things, only really, this wasn’t funny. This sucked, and I hated it. And third…holy fucking shit, but did I wish he were there with me too. It was crazy, it would have been a disaster, and it was another checkmark in the Jesse-is-way-falling-for-Dane category, but I wanted him there with me.
Thanks. You’re right. I wish you were here too.
I’m only a text or call away. Doesn’t matter what time it is, okay?