Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
‘Maddie, Jacob,’ I say, pulling both their little faces up from their hiding places. ‘Your mum and I have something to tell you.’
Ava’s eyes widen a fraction, but I make sure she sees the reassurance in mine.
‘What?’ the kids ask in unison, heads swinging back and forth to me and Ava.
‘What is it?’ Jacob’s face falls. ‘Is Mum okay? Are you okay, Mum?’
‘I’m fine, darling.’ She kisses his head, and he settles immediately. ‘Trust me, I’m so fine.’
‘Then what’s up?’
I breathe in and release our announcement on a stream of air. ‘There’s going to be another someone for me to go crazy over.’
Frowns. Two very deep frowns. And Ava laughs, though she doesn’t correct me.
‘What your dad means is’ – she takes over, clearly thinking she can break the news better than I can – ‘I’m having a baby.’
She holds her breath, waiting for their reactions. Please, guys, don’t go off the deep end.
‘A baby?’ Jacob asks, flipping a frown to me. ‘Like a little brother or sister?’
I don’t mention the fact that I’m praying, proper praying, that it’s a boy, because any more women in my life will be the death of me. ‘That’s right.’
They’re quiet, obviously mulling over the bombshell. And then ‘Chasing Cars’ fades to nothing and it’s silent, except for the light chatter around us. Good Lord, they need to say something quick before Ava has a meltdown.
‘A baby,’ Maddie hums.
‘A baby.’ Jacob tilts his head, ever the one to really ponder things.
Then they look at each other and grin. And they laugh. They laugh so fucking hard. Ava and I toss bewildered looks at each other, silently asking one another if we have any clue what’s so funny. We don’t. So I ask, ‘What’s tickled you two?’
‘Oh my God, Dad, you’re so old!’ Maddie chuckles. I’ve never sworn at my kids. Not ever, and it’s taking everything in me, and then some, not to break that rule now. Ava doesn’t help when she snorts unattractively, holding her hand over her nose. But Jacob, God bless my boy, comes straight to me and shakes my hand. ‘Congratulations, Dad.’
I have to swallow before I speak. ‘Cheers, mate.’ I could cuddle him as he throws his arms around his mum and hugs her with force.
‘I love you, Mum.’
Fuck me. I blink to keep the tears at bay, but Ava doesn’t manage to. She’s full-on crying as she pulls Maddie in, too, her face going straight between their heads. ‘I love you both. So much.’
I’m a big fat mess of a man. Totally fucked, and I don’t care who sees as I haul my family into me. My life is held in my hands in this moment.
My wife, my babies.
And a new life.
Chapter 50
As I drive Ava to her appointment on Tuesday, my mind is reeling with constant questions. Should we tell Dr Peters about the pregnancy? Are the risks higher given her condition? She’s forgetting things all the while. Small things, but still things. Will she need another CAT scan and will it risk the baby’s health if she does? And her age, not that I would ever mention that to Ava. She’s not in her twenties any more.
My head begins to ache.
‘Stop it,’ Ava says across the car, looking at me like she knows what I’m thinking. She undoubtedly does. My wife can read me like a book. Now, given the dam holding back her memories, I’m even more amazed at her ability. Her hand lands on my thigh. I breathe out deeply and squeeze her fingers. ‘Why don’t you tell me about our first scan with the twins,’ she suggests, clearly trying to distract me from my worry. It works.
My sharp bout of laughter fills the car. That moment. The lack of feeling in my legs when the doctor pointed to two heartbeats. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But my amusement fades when I remember how we came to be in hospital having an unscheduled scan. A scan to check if my babies were still alive. My stomach turns, endless flashbacks assaulting my mind – Ava’s accident, my stolen car . . . the sight of blood trickling down her bare leg. I shudder, and I know Ava feels it because she shifts in her seat, facing me, looking at my disposition with a roadmap of lines on her forehead.
‘What is it, Jesse? You’re white as a sheet.’
‘Nothing.’ Shit, I need to pull myself around. I summon a smile to reassure her. There will be no mention of my stolen car or how the driver ran Ava off the road. That was the beginning of the events that would lead to the worst moments of our lives. She doesn’t need that information. Not now. Maybe never. ‘The day of our first scan,’ I muse, refocusing my attention on the road. ‘You didn’t know I was a twin back then.’