Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
But she couldn’t save me from the wrath of her father when we rolled up in a taxi. I was supposed to call him to collect us, but I had hoped that I could use the ride home to shed my melancholy mood. I did a good job, until Jesse went off the handle. And then I folded, crying, while Maddie showed her father her wrath. It’s all so fraught. We’re all tinkering on the edge of complete meltdown, and my stupid fucking memory is the cause, my brain’s refusal to give me what I need, what we all need, to carry on with our lives with any sense of normality.
And then there are the moments like just now. Moments when my brain is wiped clean of the shit tarnishing it. Moments when Jesse helps me escape. And there are moments with Maddie and Jacob. Moments when I look at those beautiful kids and try to come to terms with the fact that they are mine. How lucky I am. How wonderful they are, how they can make me smile even on my darkest days. Their little jokes about their father, how they relay the stories they know of our love affair. I could listen to them for hours.
‘That’s enough of the downheartedness today.’ His voice, muffled in my neck, is still stern. ‘It’s Raya’s hen night tonight.’
I’m surprised he’s reminded me. I just know he’s battling his instinct to hold me back. To not let me go. And I know he’s read Kate her rights. Silly man. That woman hasn’t had a drink for nearly a year. She’ll be even more ravenous for some girlie time and alcohol than I am.
‘You mean to say you’re releasing me for the night?’ I tease. I shouldn’t poke him. I’m looking forward to this evening so much, just to spend some time with Kate. If he withdraws his consent, there will be fireworks.
Emerging from his hiding place, he cocks one eyebrow, his lips forming a straight, displeased line. ‘Are you testing me?’
I stiffen when his hand slides to my hip. ‘Never,’ I say, quickly holding my breath. He gets me every time. I don’t have a hope of fighting him off, his powerful body laughing in the face of my small frame.
‘And you will be sensible, won’t you?’ A tiny dig of his wicked fingers into my flesh jolts me, and I nod frantically. ‘And you will stay in contact with me, won’t you?’ Another dig, and another jerk of my body and head. ‘And before you leave, you’re going to let me pin you down and come all over your gorgeous boobs, aren’t you?’
I can’t find it in me to agree. Not that he desires my agreement. He does what he damn well likes when he damn well likes. ‘You want to mark me?’
‘Actually, you like to mark me.’ He points down to his pec. ‘I miss it.’
I can’t help my frown. ‘Miss what?’
‘The tidy little bruise on my chest that has kept me company for the past twelve years. I feel a little incomplete without it.’ The slight tilt of his head spells out his want. ‘Suck, baby.’ He rolls over and points to the area he wants me.
I’m bemused, but I’m getting kind of used to some of the bizarre shit I’m learning about our marriage. And to be fair, I won’t deny myself a few more minutes of us in bed together. So I straddle his waist and latch onto his solid flesh, sucking him into my mouth as I look up through my lashes to his satisfied face. The man is a nut. And so am I, since I’m going along with all the madness he throws at me. ‘Happy?’ I ask, inspecting the perfect purple circle.
‘Delirious.’ He gets up off the bed and tucks me in. ‘I’ll sort the kids for school.’
I watch him pull on some boxers before he leaves the room, my eyes nailed to his solid back until he disappears.
I relax and think forward to tonight. I need a good drink. To numb myself of feeling. And that’s just what I plan to do.
Chapter 46
I sit in the kitchen trying not to think about Ava upstairs getting ready for her night out. Lots of women together, backed up with lots of alcohol. And one of them gave birth six weeks ago, and according to Sam is champing at the bit for a night of freedom since she’s finished six weeks of breastfeeding. I forced myself to agree. I’m regretting it now. Grabbing my phone, I dial Ava’s mother.
‘What’s wrong?’ she answers in greeting.
‘Nothing’s wrong.’ My face twists. ‘What are you up to tonight?’ I ask, all casual, catching the kids’ eyes where they’re sitting at the island finishing off their dinner. They know my game. I raise my finger to my lips, a sign to keep my secret.