Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
I’m grateful for his confession. Sometimes Drew can be difficult to read and understand, but from the sounds of it, he was trying to do the right thing, whatever that was. Leaning over, he forces me to lay flat against his upper body, my own legs resting over the side of the bed.
"I had to see you," he repeats, inching closer to nuzzle against my neck.
I’m tempted to ask him why he would ever do something like that to himself but the thought evaporates when I feel his wet tongue against my skin. He alternates between kissing, sucking, and nipping at the sensitive flesh along my throat and collarbone.
I wiggle to get closer to him, to feel the heat of him against me, but he's still fully dressed and the blanket between us is ruining the mood.
I need more. More of him. All of him.
Frustration wins, and I toss the blanket away, and the cold air of the room raises goose bumps on my bare legs.
"Come here," I whine. "I need you closer."
I can practically feel his lips curving into a smile on my skin. "I’ve been fighting against myself for days. I’ve wanted to see you, to touch you, but I was afraid I’d hurt you again. The darkness and anger are too close to the surface right now, and I’m trying to do the right thing with you, Bel. I can’t use you as a punching bag if I want to keep you by my side, but it’s terrifying because you’re also the only thing that has the power to calm me.”
He pulls back, his hands trailing up my neck, stopping at my cheeks. He cups them and pulls me closer, so our noses are almost touching. “It’s like there’s so much noise in my head, the voices scream, telling me to let go, to unleash hell, but then you touch me, and everything goes quiet. It’s unexplainable. You quiet the demons. In your presence, there are little fragments of light that slice through the darkness, giving me guidance, and at those moments, I think maybe I can be saved. Maybe I can do this. If I can keep the only person who helps me to think instead of acting out by my side. My only hope is that I can protect you from all the bad in my life, including myself.”
I can’t blink back the tears fast enough, and a few slip free, cascading down my cheeks. Drew’s eyes follow the tears before he swipes them away with his thumbs.
“Shhh, don’t cry, Flower. I’ve made you cry enough. The only time I want to see tears in your eyes is when you're choking on my cock.”
A bubble of laughter escapes me. “Only you could say something so sweet and poetic and ruin it in the next sentence with something sexual and vulgar.”
The smile he gives me is breathtaking, and I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture of the handsome but incredibly broken man before me.
“What did you expect? A gentleman? Sorry, baby, but no amount of hits to the head would ever convince me to be that way. Plus, you like me like this. You like me being the villain in the story because no one plays the good girl quite as well as you.”
“I’m not always a good girl.” I grin, feeling feverish.
"Oh I know. You’re bad, really fucking bad. My dirty girl. But only for me. It’s only me who gets to see you like this. Only me who gets you so wet and horny you can’t think straight.”
There's a dark husky whisper to his tone that makes me squeeze my thighs together to try to alleviate my need. "Tell me, are you already wet for me? Is that pretty pussy waiting for me to fill it up?"
I clench my thighs again and gulp. "Yes, I need you."
He leans down and nips my bottom lip with his teeth. "My Bel. My beautiful Bel."
The small pain arouses me further, and I reach for him. I sink my hands into his shirt, fisting it, pulling him closer. I need him closer. I need him inside me. His absence this evening when I was with his friends made me feel empty, even if I was nervous about seeing him again. Uncertainty and fear of our fragile connection breaking makes me anxious. I want to be with him, but I’m also afraid of being hurt again.
"The only thing that matters to me is you. Keeping you safe, and protecting you. That's all that matters, you know that right?”
The urgency and fear in his voice makes me pause and I pull back to look at him. "Are you okay, Drew?"
He gives me a sad smile. “Of course, I’m just terrified of losing you. Terrified that I won’t be able to protect you. I can’t let anything happen to you again. I don’t care about anything else. Not about my father or Sebastian. Fuck them all. It’s just me and you, Flower. ”