Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
He doesn’t respond and slams the door behind him when he walks out. The coiled tension in Drew seems to unfurl as he lets his shoulder relax, his fists finally uncurl. His eyes shine with pure discontempt, and those eyes eventually find mine.
I wrap my arms around myself, trying not to fall apart.
“What the hell, Drew?” I feel conflicted. “What is this invitation?”
I want to give in to him, to run into his arms and let him hold me, but at the same time, I need to guard my heart and ensure I protect myself from harm.
“All this shit is a stunt to pull us apart. I mean, would it make a difference if I told you I didn’t know anything about the invitation? But it’s not the invitation he’s pissed about. He knew that was coming. It was my father’s demand that Sebastian bring you to the meeting.”
I shrug, “I don’t know. I find that hard to believe. When it comes to your father, you know everything. You’re one of his many forever-moving chess pieces.”
Drew grimaces as if I slapped him, and a tiny hint of guilt unfurrows.
It’s not a lie.
“I know that I’ve fucked up and followed along with my father’s charades before, but I’m done with that shit, Bel. I’m no longer a pawn or chess piece to him. I’m trying to fix this. To do better. Fuck me, Bel. Believe me. Believe me when I tell you I didn’t know about the meeting or the stupid invitation. Just because I’m his son doesn’t mean he tells me everything.”
“I get it, and I want to believe you…”
Shaking his head, he presses his fist against his forehead and turns away from me. The suffocating anguish and anger he’s feeling wafts off him in waves. He feels helpless, and I know that feeling all too well. I want to fix this for him, but I can’t, and while I’m terrified of losing him, all while keeping him at arm's length, I know that at some point, I’ll lose him anyway if I don’t let him back in.
My fingers itch to touch him, and I curl my fingers into my hand to stop myself.
Heartbeats pass, the tense muscles in his back shift, and he turns around to face me again. Dark green eyes meet mine, and a battle of emotions clashes in their depths.
“Jesus, fuck, you’re acting like we have this wonderful relationship when you know better. Even when I was following along with his bullshit, I was doing it to protect you. I remember you telling me that I didn’t mean the things I was saying. You knew then that I cared and was trying to do the right thing. ”
Every word he speaks tugs on my heartstrings.
I hate how easily I melt for him.
I hate how he draws me into his web at every turn.
I hate that his darkness reaches for the best still secure parts of me as if it wants to consume me. I don’t want to be that girl who gets her heart stomped into the ground again. I can’t lower my standards and boundaries to be with him. I won’t.
Drew steps toward me, and I shake my head, stepping back to keep the distance between us.
"No. We aren't doing that. I'm not too proud to admit that the second you touch me, I seem to fold in on myself. On my values and beliefs. Your touch cuts me wide open, leaving me exposed and vulnerable, and I can’t be like that right now."
A wolfish grin touches his lips. “That’s so poetic, Bel. My touch cuts you wide open?”
There’s a seductive edge to his voice that reaches out and grabs me, sinking its claws deep into my skin.
Frustrated, I snap, "This isn't a joke, Drew."
“I never said it was.”
“Then why are you smiling and acting like it is? Sebastian wants to kick your ass, and a part of me wants to let him.”
He scoffs. “This isn't the first time we’ve fought, and it won’t be the last time we fight either. We don’t know how to talk. Our words are our fists.”
“That’s stupid and immature.”
He shrugs one shoulder. “That’s how we deal with it.”
I stare at him for a long moment. My heartbeat thunders in my ears. I want him. I want what we had before everything. The slow, beautiful thing that had started between us. I just don’t want to get hurt again, and Drew… he’s not the safe bet.
He’s not the guy you bring home to Mom and Dad. He's not the gentleman who holds the door open for you or gives you flowers on the first date. He’s toxic, messy, a walking red flag, a terrifying nightmare you can never escape, and the villain in every fairy tale. And maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to him. Other girls want to marry the prince. They want the Cinderella castle and the horse carriage.