Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
All I want is to be loved, but I don’t want just any type of love. I want the kind that awakens the soul, that’s obsessive, and scary, and filled with fire that you feel in every cell of your body. I never felt or experienced any of that, not before Drew.
“What's the look for?” Drew asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I tug at the hem of the shirt, his shirt. “My heart tells me to give us a second chance, but I’m not ready to forgive you yet. I don’t know if I can trust you, and all of this makes it worse. When stuff like this—secrets—pop up, and you act all dismissive, it doesn’t build trust between us. It tears it down.”
It feels like we’re saving each other in so many ways, but when does it end? When do we stop having to save each other and start to heal?
“Does it really matter what I say? Sebastian thinks he has it all figured out. He thinks he knows what’s going on between us, who I am. He’s judging me without knowing a goddamn thing. He knows what my father is like, more than anyone, yet he’s the one who is being the hardest on me of everyone. He acts like I wanted to fucking hurt you. Watching your heart break broke me. It fucking broke me, Bel.”
I let my instincts guide me, carrying me to him. Reaching for him, I sink my fingers into his hair, tugging his head down to mine and pressing our foreheads together.
"Sebastian’s opinion doesn’t matter. He’s mad that you hurt me and I can understand his feelings since I’m his sister, but the only person who controls me is me. I make my own decisions, Drew, and if I want to give you a second chance, if I want to give us a second chance, then I will make that decision on my own, and he will not have any say in it."
“Good, because I’m not lying to you, Bel. I didn’t know about the fucking meeting. I’m trying to fix things. My father disappeared recently, went on some trip, and my mother, she’s sick. My father couldn’t be reached, so the doctors called me. He left her there to fucking die. He just left.” I can see and feel every emotion he’s experiencing as if it’s my own. The anger and sadness, combined with guilt. I feel for him, so much because while I know that Drew fucked up and hurt me, he wouldn’t be here now if he didn’t really care about what happened.
“I’m trying to do better. I want you. I want us more than anything, but I can’t flip the switch from who I was to who I want to be, who I need to be for you, overnight. It takes time. It's something I have to work on, and I am. I’m dealing with all this shit at once. But having that person held over my head… It makes it difficult for me to move past. I need your forgiveness, Bel, but I need your acceptance too. I need to know we’re going to do this together.”
I gulp and know he hears it. Letting the moment stretch while I think.
Is it enough?
He takes that moment and grabs me by the hips and pulls me into him, then wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me tight so we are chest to chest. I can only hold his neck and wait until he releases me again. When he does, a long while later, my knees are wobbly.
"Drew..."
He shakes his head. "I'll try, Bel. I'll keep trying, but you need to know something."
I nod, waiting.
His mouth drops to mine, his lips whispering words on my soul without so much as speaking a word. When the kiss breaks, I’m breathless, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest.
"You're mine. You will always be mine. There is no walking away, even if you think you hate me. There is only us, and I will go to any lengths to ensure you understand that, Bel. I promise I will never let anyone hurt you again. Not my family, not my enemies, no one.”
I gasp at his vehemence. The sheer violence of it. Swallowing hard, I try to keep my face neutral. Shit. His claims do things to me I shouldn't be feeling. Not when we are starting things out again. When he seems like he's done with his pronouncement, I shake my head and pull away.
For a moment, I don’t think he's going to release me, but then his fingers slide off my skin, and he lets me down to the floor again.
"I have to go before Sebastian bursts through the door again, but… it's all or nothing, Drew. I need all of you. I need you to trust me as I’ll try to trust you. Otherwise, we can’t do this.”