Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 57240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
She hadn’t said a word this whole time, just sat there listening as I talked it all out. “You’re mine Shell, you always have been and always will be. Even when I was off living another life as selfish as it sounds, you were still mine. Do you know I started counting down the years until Brandon went off to college?”
She gave me a look of surprise then. “Yes it’s true. I was going to file for divorce as soon as that happened. I spent many a night praying that you didn’t find someone by then. That you wouldn’t go on without me. I’m a bastard I know, but so help me if you had it wouldn’t have mattered.”
I walked over and knelt down in front of her. Taking her face in my hands I stared into her eyes so she would know that I was telling her the truth. She’s always known me well enough. It was something else we shared, that knowledge of one another.
“You can be mad at me for as long as you need to be to get it out of your system, but you will never spend another day away from me again. I won’t let that happen sweetheart, I can’t. All those dreams we once shared, all the things we once told each other that we would build together one day, I want them. Starting with this house.”
We both turned to look around the living room, which was as far as we’d got. I’d never been inside after she left until the day I bought it. I couldn’t stand the idea of being here without her.
Then after the murders, after I’d got my head back on straight, and I’d started plotting to get her back, it was the first thing I’d thought of.
The place had been a steal. It had sat empty for almost thirty years. No one had any interest in the old drafty monster that was a throwback to an old nineteen-thirties black and white film.
But she’d loved it. She’d had a million ideas of what she would do with it once we bought the six-bedroom monstrosity. That’s why after I’d bought it for peanuts all I’d done was take care of the structural damage and fixed up the master suite.
It had been therapeutic for me to work on this place, our place, while I’d been plotting and scheming in my head. While I sawed, sanded and caulked, I’d planned both the demise of my enemies, and the recapture of her heart.
I never let myself think of failure; never let myself imagine anything but this. Finally having her here with me.
“Remember sweetbaby? We were going to have five kids to fill those bedrooms. We were going to fill this place with love and laughter the way it’s supposed to be.” I closed my eyes against the pain of other children.
My gut hurt at yet one more thing I might have to take from her but it couldn’t be helped. I couldn’t let her go, and I don’t think I could go through the loss of another child.
But what about her? It had always been her dream. Could I do it? Could I give her the children she’d always wanted to share with me?
The thought scared me. So I put it away for now, and just enjoyed the moment.
We stood in that living room with my arms wrapped around her from behind, looking out the large bay window onto the lawn where the moonlight cast shadows from the row of hundred-year old oaks.
I inhaled her scent and reveled in the fact that she was actually here. That her heart was actually beating beneath the arms I had wrapped around her.
She softened enough to let her body relax back against mine. Not fully, but at least she wasn’t fighting me anymore. I was a confusing riot of emotion. I felt elation, fear, and stubborn determination.
The hard part was over I told myself. I’d gotten her this far, and though we still had much to work out between each other, tonight we’d come farther than I’d ever hoped to again.
There was so much I wanted to say to her, so much left unsaid between us. I wanted us to get past the past and look to the future. I’d spent way too long regretting the choices I’d made.
Now that I had her back, I was ready to make new memories. I have no idea why things had happened the way they had. Why life had thrown us so many curves. What I do know is that I’d never stopped loving her, never stopped wanting her and I hope to fuck the same was true for her too.
Tonight for the first time in months, I put the other aside. I allowed myself to relish the moment, to enjoy the fact that we really were this close again.