Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
“How do they drive you crazy?”
“Oh, the usual stuff. Stella is the oldest so she can be a bit of a know-it-all. Add to that she’s a therapist, so she sometimes treats me like one of her patients and tries to analyze my behavior. It’s so annoying. And Maren can drive me nuts with all her organic foods and meditation techniques and spiritual wellness. I get that clean living is good, but there are some things I like dirty.” I giggled. “Like martinis and sex.”
“Thank God for that.” He kissed the top of my head. “Which one has the bee man for a boyfriend?”
“Stella. But I don’t know that she’d actually call Walter her boyfriend. They don’t even have sex.”
“They don’t?”
“No, it’s totally weird to Maren and me, but they don’t. And she says she’s fine with that.”
“What about him?”
I shrugged. “I assume he’s fine with it too.”
“I cannot imagine any guy being fine with a relationship where there is no sex. But maybe that’s just me.”
“Stella always goes for more intellectual types because she likes guys who are smart, but then there never seems to be that physical thing between them.”
“I’m intellectual,” said Nate. “I like sex.”
I laughed. “But you don’t like relationships.”
“Well, I never have before.”
I leaned back a little and looked up at him. “And now?”
“Now there’s you.” He touched his lips to mine. “Want to stay over tonight? At the risk of sounding like Walter, we don’t have to have sex. I only want to be close to you.”
My entire body warmed. “How am I supposed to say no to that? Just let me run home and get ready for bed. I’ll come back over.”
“Okay. You’ve got the key?”
I smiled. “I’ve got the key.”
After one more kiss, I went to my apartment, changed out of my dress and into a little white camisole and some pajama pants, over which I threw a big fluffy pink robe. I took off my jewelry, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. My hair was mussed and considerably less voluminous than when I’d left home earlier, but I left it alone. We were only going to sleep, anyway. I hurried down the stairs and across the hall in my bare feet and let myself back into Nate’s apartment, where I found him feeding Paisley on the couch. He still wore his dress pants, but only his undershirt on top and his feet were bare.
“She woke up, huh?” I dropped down beside him, cuddling close to his side and tucking my legs beneath me.
“Yeah, when I went up there to change. But it’s good timing—maybe she’ll give us a solid four or five hour stretch after this.”
I kissed his shoulder. “I can do the next feeding so you can sleep through the night for a change.”
“That’s okay. I didn’t invite you over to help me with her. And I don’t mind doing it—kind of helps me feel like I’m making up for missing the first two months of her life.”
Smiling, I looked at the baby in his arms. “You have certainly come a long way since the night you fainted at the sight of her.”
“I didn’t faint,” he said stubbornly. “I…fell over in surprise.”
“I think that’s called fainting, babe.”
“Not at all. There’s a clear difference.”
Laughing a little, I patted his leg. “Okay. Anyway, you’ve made lots of progress.”
He was quiet for a minute as he watched her take the bottle. “Sometimes it still doesn’t seem real. That I have a child. A daughter.”
“It was quite a shock.”
“I didn’t think I could do this. Be a father.”
“I know.”
“And it wasn’t just that I didn’t know how to take care of her. I didn’t think I could love her the way a father should love his child.”
Chills ran down my arms, despite the fact that I was wrapped in my giant fleece robe. “And now?”
“Now I’m blown away by how quickly and completely I fell in love with her. I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel that way at all, let alone so fast. It shocks me.” He swallowed. “And scares me.”
“I’m sure it does. Given what you told me earlier, it can’t be easy to allow yourself to love like that without fear. You’ve been protecting yourself for so long. But Nate, all that time, you were also denying yourself the joy of loving someone. Yes, love makes you vulnerable to hurt, but it also makes you happy. Don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
It troubled me to think love was still something he feared. “Aren’t you happy?”
He looked at me and gave me a little smile. “When I’m with you, I am.”
My heart quickened. “Good. I like making you happy.”
He gave me a kiss before looking down at Paisley again. “Life is just so different now, you know? What makes me happy has changed so much. I hardly recognize myself.”