Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
My throat seized up again. I focused on our joined hands. “I promised myself I would never love anyone that much again.”
“Of course you did.”
“I wanted to protect myself. I thought if I never loved anyone like that, I couldn’t get hurt again. I wouldn’t have to be afraid.”
A few more tears trickled from her eyes.
“It’s why I’ve never wanted to have a relationship. Why I’ve never wanted to get married. Why I never even considered being a father.”
She nodded. “And now?”
“Now there’s Paisley.” I took a breath. “And I love her more every day. It’s like my love for Adam was—pure and simple and effortless. Unconditional. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing as a father, but I love her and I’m trying.”
“It’s enough, Nate.” She brushed my hair off my forehead. “You’re doing more than a lot of guys would in your shoes.”
“It’s not enough. It’ll never feel like enough. Because it will never make up for the fact that I didn’t want her.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I feel so fucking guilty about that.”
“Stop.” She propped her head up on her hand. “You don’t have to feel guilty about that. You would have wanted her if you’d known.”
I opened my eyes and stared at her.
“Okay, maybe not right away, but…” She grabbed my hand again. “You would have been excited eventually. Look at you now, after only two weeks. Can you imagine your life without her?”
“Frankly, yes. It’s my old life. I fucking miss it. I mean, I don’t want to give her up, but I miss it. I miss me, who I was—I wasn’t afraid of anything. I was on top of the world. Now it’s spinning out of control around me, and I’m a fucking mess.”
“You aren’t,” she said fiercely. “Not to me, you aren’t.”
It made me smile a little. “No?”
“No.” She sat all the way up. “You’re brave. And strong. And sexy. Hearing you admit the truth and talk about your fears tonight makes me want you even more. You’re a good man, Nate Pearson. Paisley is damn lucky to have you. And so am I.”
I looked up at her. “You do have me.”
A pause. “Do I?”
I sat up and took her face in my hands, praying to God—if there was one—she’d understand what I was saying to her. “You have me, Emme.”
She turned her head so one cheek rested in my palm. “You have me, too.”
I glanced at the clock, hoping against all odds the numbers hadn’t changed, or even better, had gone backward. No luck—but… “Hey,” I said. “Look what time it is.”
She turned her head and gasped. “Eleven eleven!”
“Go ahead. Make your wish.”
She looked at me again for a moment, squeezed her eyes shut like she was concentrating hard, then exhaled and opened them. “Your turn.”
I sighed exaggeratedly. “Do I have to?”
“Yes. You know my rule!”
“Fine.” I remembered the first wish I’d made at 11:11 PM, when we’d been in my kitchen exactly two weeks ago. That night I’d wished that the next person Emme fell in love with would love her back like she deserved and make her happy.
Now I looked at her hopeful, smiling, beautiful face and made it different.
I wish I could be the one.
Fifteen
Emme
“Did you have a good time?” Stella looked up from her phone from where she sat on the couch. Maren sat on the opposite end reading a magazine.
“Yes.” I smiled blissfully. “Thank you so much.”
“How was she?” Nate went over to the monitor on the kitchen counter and peered at the screen.
“An angel,” said Maren, tucking the magazine into the shoulder bag at her feet. “She got a little fussy after you left and she found herself with two strangers, but she quieted down eventually and she took her bottle with no problem. We got her to sleep around ten or so.”
“I can’t thank you enough,” Nate said as my sisters stood up and gathered up their things. He went into the kitchen for a moment and came out with two bottles of wine in his hands. “These are for you.”
“That’s so nice of you, but it’s totally not necessary.” Stella smiled at him as she slipped her sweater on.
“Please take them.” Nate held the bottles out. “You have no idea how much I appreciate the favor.”
It took a little more cajoling, but eventually each of my sisters left with a bottle of wine tucked under her arm. When the door was closed behind them, he turned to me and pulled me into his arms. “Thank you so much for arranging for them to be here. I had such a good time tonight.”
“Me too. Thank you for the perfect date.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder.
“Your sisters are great.”
“They are. I mean, they can drive me crazy, but I adore them.”