Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 85135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
I just won’t be a part of it, and I know that’s how it’s meant to be.
The freedom and relief I expected to feel in this moment never materializes as the hotel room door shuts behind me with a soft click.
THIRTY-TWO
Vivian
I’ve forgotten which day it is. All I know is that the hotel I’m sleeping in now isn’t the same place Beau and I played Twister. It’s not the same place he picked me up for our first date. I’m grateful, but I’m also sad.
I look out onto the London skyline. There’s an expensive gold compass on the coffee table that tells me I’m looking west. I wonder if somewhere down there, Beau’s grabbing coffee and flirting with a stranger in the line. Or maybe he’s in Finland. When did he say he was going?
The way I miss him cuts so deep that I’m trying to stop the blood gushing from the wound, yet no one seems to notice. The only thing that’s been resolved over the last few days, since Beau left, is that any doubt I had about him leaking the stories has completely disappeared. Of course he didn’t.
I wonder if he misses me? It’s unlikely. He was always going to run.
Tommy and Felicity are in fight mode. Tommy seems to have won over the record company after sending them six of the completed songs. The only problem is, I don’t know if I can finish the rest of them. I need at least another four and I don’t have the energy to shower, let alone go to the studio.
“Listen,” Tommy says from where he’s talking to me on my laptop. “I can bring in an uncredited writer. No one needs to know.” He speaks to someone off camera. “Okay good, and you’ve packed me?”
I lean forward and pour some of the water on the table into a glass. Is Betty here? I can’t even remember.
“I’m taking an overnight flight to London,” Tommy says.
Jesus. He must be worried.
“We’ve gotta get you back into the studio.”
“You don’t need to come here,” I say. “I’ll try and go in tomorrow.”
“Who?” Tommy calls to someone off camera. “Okay, get her patched in here. Felicity is on the line. It’s urgent, apparently.”
I zone out while people start doing various things that don’t involve me and eventually, I’m cut off. Thank god. Maybe I can get some sleep. Or something. I spot my guitar in the corner of the room, but before I can grab it, Tommy’s calling me back. It’s not worth ignoring him. The mood he’s in, he’ll have a thousand hotel staff ramming my hotel door down to get me to answer the phone.
“We’re back,” Tommy says, as he and Felicity appear on the screen in front of me.
“Good news,” Felicity says. “I’m not even kidding when I say I’ve had to bribe a few people, but I’ve found out a little more about the leak. It wasn’t Beau.”
“That’s great news,” Tommy interrupts.
She’s not telling me anything I didn’t already know.
“Vivian?” Felicity asks. “Have you frozen? Did you hear me?”
“I know it wasn’t Beau,” I say.
“Right,” she says. “But I’m confirming that it wasn’t him or a member of his team. It was a team member on Judo’s side.”
“I knew I liked him. So, do you want me to call Beau for you?” Tommy asks.
“And say what?” I ask.
“I don’t know, we could start by saying we know it wasn’t him who leaked the info.”
“He told me it wasn’t him.”
“I know, but now we have proof,” Tommy says. “I’m sure he’ll understand, given your history.”
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll try and get in the studio tomorrow to stop the label freaking out. Can you tell Bobby and Judo I’m sorry for being out of it for a few days?”
“Wait,” Tommy says, “I don’t get it. You should be delighted that Beau wasn’t the source of the leak?”
“Because it doesn’t change anything. I knew in my heart of hearts it wasn’t him, but there was still doubt. There will always be doubt because of Matt.” The innocent part of me who could assume people were the good guys until I was proven wrong has been removed. Permanently. And that’s what I hate Matt for the most. He’s turned me into a cynic.
I don’t want Tommy and Felicity to think badly of Beau, so I haven’t told them he would have left eventually anyway. Beau’s not a bad guy, but he’s a man who runs—from a career, from his business idea, from relationships. He thinks he’s chasing life, but he’s running away from it. There’s no changing that.
“Oh, darling,” Felicity says. “It’s only been a few months since you found out about Matt. It’s bound to take a while to heal. You just need to give it time.”
“Felicity’s right,” Tommy says. “It will be easier with the next boyfriend. We all need a little palate cleanser between boys, isn’t that right, Felicity? Beau was just your between-relationships relationship.”