Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Tam sipped it and stayed silent.
Words were hard at the moment and he didn’t want to waste energy on useless things when it took all his concentration not to fall to the floor. His knees shook and he held on to the bar to keep steady.
He’d thought they were on the same page. All those nights sleeping in each other’s arms, all those sweet things they’d whispered, the confessions, the stories...
Hadn’t they meant something?
The way Driver looked at him, that wasn’t the way someone looked at a casual fling. There had been wonder there, hope. Tam would have sworn on his favorite heels they had a deeper connection, something special. And now, doubts filled him and tainted every moment in his memory.
Was he seeing things through the eyes of naivety?
Was he really such an idiot?
Where was the cynical disbeliever who knew what a crapfest life really was? What had happened to his carefully built walls? Those barricades that had kept him closed off and safe for so long. Where had his defenses gone? It felt like he’d opened his door to a stranger and watched while all of his belongings were stolen. Betrayal hurt, yes. But he’d put himself in this situation and that stung worse.
He should have known better.
After everything he’d lived through he’d still taken the risk. And now his friends’ warnings rang in his ears, making him cringe. He’d been so sure he could handle it on his own. Why? Because he’d gotten laid a couple times without freaking out? Did that somehow make him more capable?
Hell, they hadn’t even managed to fuck yet.
Wait. Yet?
Was he really thinking he could continue this non-relationship?
It would shatter him...wouldn’t it?
He glanced over to where Driver was serving a couple of women, his dimples on full display as he smiled at them. One of the woman, a brunette, leaned on the bar, and the scoop of her tight dress framed her cleavage perfectly. She batted her lashes and laughed at something Driver said.
Tam swallowed shame and jealousy. Flirting. That was how a normal person did it.
He would never be normal. He’d accepted that a long time ago, and for years he’d even embraced his differences because they’d brought him Ansel and Z and Lirim—his family. Their weirdness tied them together, and Tam would never want to lose that bond. He’d been starting to feel a similar connection to Driver.
What a fool.
He’d gotten attached because of a couple of orgasms. Rookie move.
The vodka was strong and it burned as he swallowed it down in irritation. He wasn’t going to be some whimpering virgin victim. He wasn’t going to let anything hold him back ever again.
Maybe Driver wasn’t The One, but he had given him a gift that could never be forgotten. Because of Driver, Tam believed again. He believed in happy endings and love and the potential for all his dreams to come true. And he was ready to fight for it.
And fuck Driver if he couldn’t see what an amazing catch Tam would be.
His loss.
“I’m gonna dance.” He wasn’t shaking anymore as he strutted onto the makeshift dance floor. His blood hummed with a mix of vodka and confidence.
Someday he’d find someone who would look at him like he was everything they needed. Someday he’d fall in love. Someday he’d be happy.
Until then, he’d be open to possibilities.
Until then, he’d dance.
And that’s exactly what he did. He fell into the music as usual, flipping his hair and gyrating with the pounding beat. He wasn’t trying to be sexy, he never did. But he knew people were staring at him and it didn’t scare him. He didn’t shy away or hide because dance made him free like nothing else ever had.
Except for Driver.
Tam’s stomach clenched, but he quickly pushed it away.
He wasn’t going to waste time mourning something that had never existed. He’d come out to have fun, and that was what he’d do. With a deep cleansing breath, he closed his eyes and lost himself to the music until the melody flowed through his limbs. Each note sang from his body, and the world around him disappeared.
All his problems, all his pain lifted, leaving pure bliss behind.
As long as he could dance, nothing else mattered.
So when a stranger came up behind him and integrated himself into Tam’s creation, Tam went with it without worrying, without even thinking.
But not a minute later, his dance partner was gone and a voice intruded on Tam’s peace.
“Get your fucking hands off him.”
Tam blinked his eyes open, regaining focus on reality in a dizzying swirl. Driver held a smaller man by the shirt, one fist pulled back, ready to swing. Fury bubbled in Tam’s stomach and he shoved Driver as hard as he could.
Driver landed on his ass.
“How dare you,” Tam said. Then, with a frustrated growl, he stomped off.