Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“But you love him.” It wasn’t a question. Every time Brandon looked at Driver his face betrayed him.
“He’s my best friend. We’ve been through a lot together. But I also know he can be a selfish asshole.” He glanced in the direction of the back room like he expected Driver to come out any second.
“He’s gone.” Tam took a big gulp of the vodka and soda to cover the gruffness of his voice. Christ, but his chest felt like it had been crushed.
“Damn it.” Brandon ran both hands through his hair. “How long ago?”
“Ten minutes or so.”
Brandon pulled his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialed. “If you take off without saying goodbye, I will track you down and kill you in your sleep.” He hung up with a sigh. “Voicemail, which means he’s probably driving.”
“He does this a lot then?”
“It’s been his MO since before he was old enough to drive. Used to take off on his bicycle, crazy bastard.”
That didn’t make Tam feel any better. It just fed the curiosity that couldn’t seem to let Driver go. He stayed quiet, sipping the drink and wiping his fingers through the condensation on the outside of the glass.
“Will you be okay?” Brandon asked. “Want me to call you a cab?”
“No. Thanks though.”
Brandon rested his elbows on the bar. “Whatever happened between you, it’s none of my business. He’s a good guy deep down. He never means to hurt anyone.”
Tam’s heart twisted. “I know.”
With one knock of his knuckles on the wood, Brandon said “If you need anything...” and then he left to help another customer.
Tam stayed long enough to soak up some of the lively spirit of the crowd and finish his drink. Outside, New York was buzzing as it always was, even right before dawn. Stage Left was in the heart of the Theater District and only a fifteen-minute subway ride from Tam’s apartment. He slipped his earphones on and headed toward the nearest station. Both the walk and the ride were uneventful, and before his favorite playlist repeated, he was unlocking the main door of his building and climbing the stairs. It was so strange, the unexpected ways certain events could change and shift your emotions. At the beginning of the day he’d been excited and inspired from a great class and another check-in with Georgia.
Now, there was no trace of those happy feelings. There was only the deep sense of impending loss.
The long hall of his floor stretched before him, everything quiet and still, except for the lone figure sitting on the floor in front of Tam’s door. Tam’s pulse quickened even though he tried to fight it.
His steps were swift, but Driver didn’t move as he approached. His head rested on his knees, dark hair flopping over his arms in a wild shag. The closer Tam came, the louder his muffled snores became.
He was sleeping.
Fuck if Tam’s chest didn’t constrict in that moment like it was trying as hard as possible to hide from the empty space inside. His fingers curled into fists even as he lowered to sit beside Driver. He smelled fresh, like grass and pine and wind.
Warmth soaked through Tam’s clothes and suddenly he realized he’d been cold. So cold, frozen even.
But Driver had come back. Again. It gave him hope.
He closed his eyes as a tear slipped out. It was too late to turn back now and, honestly, he wouldn’t if he could. Whatever happened next, though, Tam would go into it with eyes wide open.
But even that wouldn’t matter.
He was already lost.
* * *
Driver dreamed of an endless road. No matter where he turned it stretched out in front of him with no other soul in sight. Loneliness crept up on him slowly, and as it progressed his body began to freeze. His fingertips were the first to turn to stone. As is so often in dreams, he’d known if he didn’t get off the road before the spreading rock reached his heart he would be stranded in the desolate place forever apart from those he loved.
Driver jerked awake, heart pounding and skin clammy. For a second he didn’t know where he was, but then the pale gray walls and scuffed wood floor came into focus. The hall. Right.
He must have fallen asleep waiting for Tam.
And just like that, the night came back to him. He closed his eyes against the rush of it all, the sting of guilt, the burn of jealousy.
Most of all, the overwhelming need to run.
Tam had been right to call him a coward. Running from his fears was all he knew.
He deserved so much worse than name calling. It didn’t matter that he had good reasons for leaving. Or, at least he thought he’d had good reasons, but things didn’t seem so clear cut anymore. He rubbed at the healing bruise on his chest.