Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“I want you to go to therapy,” I finally say, sniffling back the snot and looking at him. “Or couples therapy even.”
“Therapy?” he scoffs, as if I just asked him to see a witch doctor.
“Yeah, if what you’re telling me about your mother hitting you is true then you are suffering from something deeper than you and I can fix.”
His shoulders lift and he rubs his chin in thought.
“If it means I get to keep you then yes.”
A sigh escapes my mouth and my whole body feels lighter, a weight lifted from my shoulders. The feeling making me dizzy. It seems I’m either angry to the point of no return or overly excited with this man. Is he making me this way? Is he making me crazy or have I always been this way?
“What did Owen say about it? Did he tell you to leave me?” He assumes I already texted Owen and Flynn about what happened, but I haven’t.
“I didn’t tell him, actually. It’s not a light I want to paint us in. I’m embarrassed and even more humiliated about the entire situation, Heston. Also, Owen would come over here with a wine bottle and beat the shit out of you.” I raise a brow in his direction, and he nods, knowing it’s true.
His Adam’s apple bobs.
“I think it’s for the best. Owen gossips too much. The entire block would think I beat you within an inch of needing an ambulance.” The way he says that unsettles me, it comes out so easy and without concern. He looks up and smiles, my apprehension lifting.
He’s right; Owen is a drama queen. Which is one of the many reasons he’s my best friend, but I don’t want everyone looking at Heston and me and trying to fix us. The therapist will tell us one thing and then the neighbors will give their two cents, which may cause us to derail before we even have a chance to fix things. It occurs to me that I might care about what the neighbors will think of me too. I’ve been doing that since I moved here. I might love the houses, the freedom, and the companionship, but I’ve been living my life by the book of living in the suburbs and not how I truly want. I want to check my mail in my pajama’s and make a sculpture for my yard. Things I couldn’t have in the city, but could have here if I just stop thinking what people would think of me.
“How do you feel now?” Reaching forward, he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, and I flinch. Our eyes lock.
“You don’t trust me?” Disappointment is thick in his voice. My trust in him was slapped out of me yesterday and I don’t know if he can gain it back. Do I want to trust him again?
“Can you blame me?” Silence falls between us for a few seconds that seem like hours.
“No, not at all. I’ll show you that you can depend on me, Rain.” He promises and it makes my bottom lip tremble with emotion. Wanting to change the subject and move on with the day, I ask, “What do you want to do today?”
His eyes take on a deeper shade of blue. “You,” he replies, and I swallow, crossing my legs at the knees.
“I’m on my period,” I lie, and he exhales.
“Really?”
I nod, and he stands up from the bed. “When is Paige coming home?”
“Noon. That’s what Cam said anyway.” I roll over and reach for my phone to see what time it is. Eleven.
“I’ll wait until she gets home before going to work then,” he informs, his tone casual, as if we’re magically fixed. Heston steps into the bathroom, and I raise my hand, looking at the ring on my finger. I still want to get married, but I also don’t. He’s convinced me it’s the thing to do—people fall in love and get married—but the conviction is missing. The belief that it’s really what we need as a couple is not quite there, and after what happened yesterday, I want to run far away from any altar.
The faucet turns off, and Heston comes out, wiping his face with a blue towel.
“You like it?” he asks.
I glance at him, then back to the ring, knowing what I’m about to say might be the end of us. “I think we should wait.” The words come out softer than I intend. I hoped to be strong and confident when telling him.
“What?”
Dropping my hand, I sit up on my elbows and look at him.
“I don’t like the idea of getting married right now. It’s too soon. We have so much to learn about each other. And besides, it’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t change anything between us.” He swallows, looking at anything but me.