Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Finn inhales sharply. I look away, hoping to get rid of the knot in my throat and hide the heat on my face. OF COURSE, I didn’t tell him that. I try my best not to even remember that, but it was one time, when she was high and kept saying everything felt so good on her skin.
“She wasn’t waiting for me,” I say, finally. “She was high.”
“Did you tell—”
“OH MY GOD, THAT’S ENOUGH!” I pound a fist on the table and lower my voice. “He’s heard enough. Are you going to try to remember who was around back then, or do you want to just sit here embarrassing me?”
“I’m not trying to embarrass you!” Her eyes widen. She looks at Finn. “I’m sure this is a lot, but your sister was very sick, and the last thing Joss needs is to be involved in this. She’s been through enough.”
“I agree,” he says, jaw ticking. “If only Josslyn had a friend who didn’t abandon her at sex clubs.”
“That’s not fair,” she whispers.
“How could you do that?!” he growls. “She could have been hurt. She could have been…” He stops talking and swallows hard.
“I know! Don’t you think that haunts me every fucking day?!” she says, eyes glossy. “But it doesn’t change the fact that your sister was sick and had a sick obsession with Joss. I wish I’d never introduced them.” The three of us are quiet until Livie speaks again. “I can only think of a few people whose name starts with ‘T’ and I’m sure they’re already on your list, but just because she was seeing someone doesn’t mean that person was the one responsible for what happened. That’s something to consider.”
I glance at Finn hoping he looks back at me. When he doesn’t, I feel my shoulders slump. Livie stands up, says some other things about wishing she could be of more help, and warns me not to get involved. I stand and follow her to the door.
She searches my face when we get there. “You’re mad at me.”
“No shit, I’m mad at you!” I whisper-shout. “How do you think he feels right now?”
“He needs to hear the truth about his sister, and the last thing you need is to fall into another bout of depression over this,” she says. “She was not a good person, Joss.”
I swallow hard. “That doesn’t mean she deserved to die.”
“Of course not,” she says. “But it’s not your fault that she did.”
“I know.”
“Please be careful.” She gives me a kiss and a hug that I don’t return. “Maybe you can make a list of who was at Titus’ birthday that year.”
I let out a laugh. “Everyone was there.”
“Including T,” she says pointedly as she pulls away.
“Stop bringing Tiago into this.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “You think I want to think that about him? I’m just saying, it’s very weird. He was always around before, then he stopped coming, and now he’s kind of back again? Every time I ask him why he was MIA, he gets weird.”
“He’s been going through a lot with his mom,” I say, swallowing the knot in my throat.
When she leaves, I take a moment to regain my composure. “T” could technically be another letter. Like “I.” It’s not like Mal had the best penmanship. And like Olivia said, the person she wrote about isn’t necessarily the person responsible for what happened. The only real way to find out who was there that night is from Leo. Or John. I wish there was a way to convince them to show me their guest list for that night. I walk back to the dining room and find Finn in the same spot.
When he hears me approach, he turns in his seat. My heart drops when I take in his expression. This past week, I’ve gotten used to having a version of him no one else gets. One who laughs, smiles, and doesn’t act like he has to hold himself a certain way because of who he is or the family he comes from. Someone who looks genuinely happy for once. The look on his face right now … is not that.
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he asks quietly.
“Any of what?” I ask as I walk closer.
“That my sister did those things. That she tried to get you to … that she waited for you…” He swallows hard.
My stomach turns. “Why would I tell you that?”
“What do you mean why would you? You don’t think this is something I should know?”
“No! Besides, I didn’t know any of this.” I point at the papers. “She didn’t give me a reason for me to think she felt this way. I had no idea.”
“How could you not?” He stands up and jabs a finger toward the paper. “It’s pretty fucking obvious! And after everything Olivia said?!”