Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
She tenses again. “Oh.”
“I wasn’t always like this,” I say, amused at her reaction. “I’ve had girlfriends.”
This time, she tries to wiggle her fingers away from mine, but I hold on and bring our joint hands to my chest. It probably shouldn’t make me feel this good to know she might be jealous. I wait until she looks at me again before continuing.
“That night at that party, Blair came on strong. She usually did, but for some reason, that was the night I let her drag me to the bathroom,” I say, feeling a hint of amusement when Josslyn tries to pull away again.
“After that, we got into a huge argument. She started drinking and getting belligerent. She kept saying she’d broken up with Tate to be with me. I finally snapped and told her I didn’t ask her to do that. I think I called her a slut.” I flinch, ashamed of the things I’d said. “It got heated quickly. Blair left, and I made my exit a few minutes later with Ella. Police were all over the bridge, so we knew whatever had happened was bad, but we didn’t find out until the following day. So, I guess Tate isn’t wrong to think what he does.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” she says. You were a teenage boy.”
“It was the last time I made that kind of teenage boy mistake.”
“You were a kid.”
“I was old enough to know better.”
She blinks. “No, you weren’t.”
“It doesn’t matter. None of it should’ve happened. Blair shouldn’t have died like that. I shouldn’t have said all of those things to her. I shouldn’t have gone to that bathroom with her.”
“What happened after?” she asks. “Tate blames you, but there’s no mention of you in the two articles and blog post I found. There’s barely any information about it at all.”
My smile feels forced. “I’m a Barlow, remember?”
This time, when she pulls her hand away, I let her. She sits back and looks at the floor. I do the same. That accident was the real reason Tate’s family was ousted. After Blair died, he wouldn’t stop attacking me publicly. He only had himself to blame for the downfall. Even after he was told to shut up, he kept going, and eventually it caught up to him. You can’t go for the king’s throat and expect to keep your own.
“Do you blame yourself for it?” she asks quietly.
“I did for a while. I haven’t thought about that in a very long time,” I say, which probably sounds callous, but it’s the truth.
“It explains why Tate hates you,” she whispers. “He lost the girl he loved, and he had to watch you succeed in everything.”
I stare at her for a long moment. “Why were you at Pearl tonight?”
“When I heard how Mallory was found, I couldn’t stop seeing images of my dad and how I found him. Some people said the woman found there did it to herself, others said she was murdered, but the police said it was a tragic accident, and since she was a Jane Doe on the news, everyone accepted that answer.” She frowns. “I just always knew there was something off about that night.”
“Who told you?” I ask. “How she was found, I mean.”
My parents, who didn’t want a sex club tarnishing the family name, pulled a lot of strings to make sure my sister remained Jane Doe in the media, but most people knew it was her. The club may require an NDA, but people still talk, and too many had seen Mallory there. Every time I thought about how often she went, I felt another blow to my chest. Josslyn’s brows pull together. I don’t know what memory flashes through her mind, but whatever it is shakes her.
She clears her throat and finally says, “I don’t remember.”
I don’t believe that for a moment, but I let it go for now.
“What did you do when you went back inside? Were you there for the fire?” I ask, and I swear it’s as if she stops breathing.
Her reaction makes an uneasy feeling skate down my spine. I need to get the rest of the footage from that night. I don’t believe for a fucking second that the cameras weren’t working. Even if the ones inside had been damaged, there are six cameras recording everything outside. I’ve considered that maybe Rustin got rid of the evidence, but … something doesn’t add up. He’s not a close friend of ours, but he’s an acquaintance we grew up seeing at parties, and we’ve known him for a long time.
“I’ll get to that,” she says. “In the beginning, I tried to find out who she was with. It was the only way to get through the grief and guilt. I wanted to see the footage. The guest list. Anything. Tate helped for a while,” she says, biting her lip as she looked away. “It was one of the many reasons we broke up. After three months of watching me cry, he just…” she shrugs.