Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 117820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
I shake my head, thinking back to that night and the nights that followed. We weren’t right after that.
He voices almost my exact words. “I fucked up. Things weren’t right. I should’a been a man and let my girl have a good night without the drama I created.”
“That was the night I said that thing I said about you ruining my life, I’ve never been able to forget it. We never really spoke about that.”
He sighs and holds me tighter. “Thought it was that night that pushed you away. You stopped fuckin’ me, stopped talkin’ to me like you did before. Once upon a time I’d tinker with your bike and listen to you go on non-stop for hours, but then that night happened, and I couldn’t even get you to tell me what you ate for breakfast. Didn’t bring it up because I was worried about what you was gonna tell me.” Laughing gently but bitterly he goes on, “Thought for sure you were fucking around with Marshall behind my back. Both of you were moping around after he left you that night. Thought you were heartbroken.”
“I was, you ruined my friendship and put me in a position where I had to choose you over him when he was innocent. I shouldn’t have chosen you but I loved you too much, couldn’t stand the thought of losin’ you.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t been so shit to you, you might’a come to me when you thought you were pregnant.”
“I was just scared you’d get mad and think I did it on purpose.”
He frowns, looking down at me with a stern expression. “That the only reason?”
I consider lying but I promised him I wouldn’t do that anymore. “I wasn’t sure if I wanted a baby. Needed to figure that out before I came to you with it. Thought if I made a decision on my own it wouldn’t matter what you told me you wanted.”
“That’s fair,” he utters, wetting his lips when he looks down at mine. “Whatever the fuck happened, we’re gonna get through this together, yeah?”
“Reckon we can handle it?”
“So long as I keep takin’ my breathers and you keep suckin’ my dick.”
I laugh, though there’s sadness to it, there’s also genuine happiness that I haven’t allowed myself to feel in so long. “You’re an idiot, Kane Jessop.”
“And I still ain’t seen a girl prettier than you, Imogen Hardy.”
“You mean it?” I ask breathlessly as I go up onto my tiptoes.
Grinning, he presses his lips to mine and slides his tongue into my mouth without waiting a moment. I hum, happy to be in his arms, happy to feel something other than despair and longing. Dreamt of being right here with him so many times, and now I have it I’m not sure how to handle it.
“Let’s spend another hour mulling this shit over.”
“Take as long as you need.” I kiss his jaw and guide him back to his seat and when he sits I rub his shoulders. He’s incredibly tense. Understandably so.
“Before I forget,” he says and digs into the inner pocket of his jacket. “You left this at my dad’s.”
It’s the letter from Mee-maw. I immediately scowl at it, feeling no small amount of hatred for the dead cow.
“Burn it.”
“You should read it; you’ll always wonder what it said if you don’t.”
“Fuck off, Yoda,” I comment, snatching the envelope from his hand. I tear the letter into two, then four, then eight, and I keep going until it’s nothing but uneven strips which I then sprinkle into the trash. “Trust me. There’s nothing she’s got to say that I want to hear.”
“Babe.”
“If I have to read her apology, it might send me into an early grave. She doesn’t deserve the chance to ask for my forgiveness. I will never forgive her and I don’t want to be guilted into it.”
“Fair enough.” He pats his thigh. “Sit with me.”
Tense and agitated, I do just that, perching myself on his leg and resting my arm along his shoulders. “Do you think it’s weird that we’re just so comfortable around each other like we were back when we were kids?”
“Naw.” He pops a piece of gum into his mouth and I take the one he offers.
Naw is all he says on that question and I have to laugh because it’s just so Kane Jessop.
Back Home
The Next Day
I wake in Kane’s arms despite the fact he took the couch. I asked him to, said I needed time to adjust, but then I woke up and couldn’t sleep. As though sensing it, he knocked on my door and stood in the doorway, eyes locked with mine in the darkness.
“I’m comin’ in,” he whispered.
“Okay,” I whispered back and shuffled up the bed to make space for him.
“Don’t go too far,” he warned and when the bed dipped under his weight, I found myself against him. I love that he wants me as close to him as I want him to me, despite the fact that I also don’t want him too close because it’s going to be harder making him move in the end. “Webber said we can go back tomorrow.”