Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
I croak. “What did you say?”
She presses her hands to each side of my face and forces me to look at her. “I made him promise me two things. I made him promise that he would come home safe and then I made him promise me that he would bring you home safe too.” She sucks in a breath, and I know this is hard for her to talk about, but she doesn’t stop yet. “I like to think that he knew he wasn’t coming home and he was going to have to break his promise to me. And I also know my dad. He made sure you came home to me. If he wasn’t on your back, you would be gone too, Kan.”
I can’t help it. Emotions overwhelm me, and the tears start to fall. “I’m so sorry, Em. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save him. Even with my arm shot up, I tried to save him. I couldn’t. I tried, I really tried.”
She wraps her arms around me and holds me to her chest. Her hands push through my hair as she soothes me with her voice. “I know you did, Kanan. I know you loved him. If you could have, you would have saved him. I know you would.”
I look at her in wonder, still not believing it. “You don’t blame me?”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t blame you. My dad wouldn’t either, Kan. I can’t imagine everything you went through that day, but this part, this guilt, you have to let it go.”
All I can do is stare at her, and she smiles softly at me. “I know that’s easy for me to ask and hard for you to do, but living with this kind of guilt is not good for you, and it won’t be good for us.”
I tunnel my fingers through her hair. “I love you so damn much, Em. Please don’t ever leave me.”
She loops her hands around my neck. “I love you, Kan, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m going to mess up.”
She laughs. “I know you are.”
“Sometimes I get so stuck in the past, I almost suffocate from it.”
She nods. “I know you do, but if you let me, I’ll be here for you. To hold you, love you, to show you much you’re needed. Because you are. I need you… our kids will need you.”
My body jerks. “Kids?”
She slaps me on the chest. “Yeah, kids, and if we do much more like we did last night, I would say they’ll be here sooner than later.”
I lean my head against hers. “You know you’re going to have to marry me, right?”
She nods. “Yeah, I know.”
“I love you, Em.”
She smiles ear to ear. “Yeah, I know that too.”
EPILOGUE
EMERSON
Three Months Later
“You don’t have to do this… you know that, right?”
I nod my head and try to humor my husband. “I know that.”
But he’s not giving up. “I’m serious. You don’t need the added stress. You’ve been doing online school, working, writing in your spare time, and if seeing your mom is just too much right now, then it’s too much. You don’t have to see her. You can wait.”
I cup my hand around his cheek. “Kanan, you’re hovering.”
He rubs his hand along my slightly rounded belly. “Emerson, you’re pregnant.”
I gasp as if I am surprised. “Really? Pregnant? And how exactly did that happen?”
“Har. Har. Very funny. I’m just saying if you want to put this off, no one would blame you.”
I shake my head and keep walking. My mom has been in the rehab facility in Vegas for a little over three months. Last week, she was given the option to leave, and she chose to stay. That has to mean something. “I’m doing this, Kan.” I stop before getting to the door. “But listen, if it’s okay with you, I’m not telling her I’m pregnant.”
He looks at me doubtfully. “She’s going to know, Em. You’re fucking glowing.”
I lean into my husband. “I’m glowing because you know how to love me.”
He cups his hand around my cheek. “Whatever you want to do in there, I’m fine with it. You want to leave, just give me the signal.”
I nod, almost guiltily. “I hate hiding this from her, but I need to know she’s clean before bringing her back into my life, that’s all.”
He nods in agreement. “I get it, you’re right.”
Hand in hand, we walk into the facility. When we get inside, I tell the person at the desk that we’re here to see Erika Todd.
They look on their computer and then hit a buzzer on the door. “Through that door. There’s a conference room on the right. She’ll be there shortly.”
I’m a ball of nerves as we walk down the hall and find our way to the conference room. The room is nothing like you’d expect. I thought there would be a table and chairs, but this place is something else. There are couches, televisions, computers, and a kitchen. I sit down on the couch, and Kanan sits next to me. “It’s okay,” I tell him.