Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
He doesn’t smile. His lips don’t even curl up in a smirk. He stares back at me without showing any kind of emotion at all. “Okay.”
I wish he would tell me what I want to hear. I want him to say that he never wants me to leave and he can’t imagine his life without me in it, but that’s wishful thinking on my part. There are so many things holding him back, and he’s put a wall up between us. I’m not sure what I can do to get through to him or even how to begin, but maybe by me being here, I can slowly start to break it down. “Okay,” I repeat and then continue to eat. We sit in a comfortable silence, each eating our food. In my mind, though, it’s a completely different story. I’m imagining us holding hands, sitting on the couch together after dinner, laughing and talking. It’s like I can see how perfect we could be together, but somehow, I have to convince him.
CHAPTER 15
KANAN
Today has been a hell of a day. It started with a call early this morning from one of the guys that said there’s a water line break in the office building and the problems haven’t stopped since. I’ve worked tirelessly all day, and Emerson has worked right beside me. At least today has been a good arm day. I started a new physical therapy last week, and I can already tell a difference. I still have bouts of pain, but it’s becoming bearable. At times, I even think I’m getting more strength back, but I’m wondering if that’s all in my head.
“You okay?” I ask her for the tenth time today.
She nods her head without looking at me.
“Em, look at me. You okay?”
She wipes her arm on her brow, and when she drops it, there’s dirt on her face. I can’t stop the smile. She’s sweaty, her hair that started in a slick ponytail this morning is sticking up in all directions, and she’s covered in dirt. But she’s still smiling. And she’s still beautiful.
She nods her head. “I’m good.”
I shake my head as I finish tightening the bolts on the tractor and then jump down from the side. She climbs down from the tractor, but when she gets to her feet, her legs buckle. She says my name and then falls back, collapsing on the ground.
I drop down beside her, calling her name over and over. I feel the back of her head and there’s no bump. She’s a pasty white, she feels clammy, and she won’t open her eyes. Fuck.
I pick her up, and there’s nothing graceful about it. I’m struggling as I lift her over my shoulder and rise to my feet. If my fuckin’ arm wasn’t so useless, it would be a piece of cake, but it doesn’t matter. I have to get her some help, and I’m not going to just leave her here.
I get up and start striding to the cabin. Ricardo sees me and comes running, and I wave at him. “Call the doctor. Quick.”
I carry her the rest of the way to the cabin, and when I get her inside, I set her on the couch and then lay her back.
Crouching down beside her, I say her name over and over, pleading for her to wake up.
She moans, but that’s it.
I go grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and then go back to her. I lift her shoulders up. “Em, baby, you have to drink something.”
She suckles the water and then leans her head against my chest. Her breathing has picked up, and when she says my name, I swear it’s only then that I let out a breath of relief. I’m gasping for air as if I’ve been holding it this whole time. “I’m here, Em. I’m here. Ricardo went to get the doctor, and he’ll be right here.”
Hardly any time passes and I hear two sets of boots on the porch. The door is hanging wide open, and Logan strides into the room. “What’s going on, Kanan? How long did she lose consciousness?”
I don’t let her go. I’m still on my knees next to the couch, holding her against my chest. “Fuck, I don’t know. It seemed like forever. Maybe three minutes, though.”
He comes to stand next to us. “Okay, you need to let her go so I can examine her.”
I lay her back on the couch and whisper to her as I do, “Logan’s going to take a look at you honey. I’ll be right here, though.”
She grabs on to my hand, and even though I know I’m going to be in the way, I refuse to pull away. I move as far as the coffee table and sit on it. “This is as far as I’m going.”