Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
“You know I do,” he replies, his eyes examining me in a foreign way. I can’t read his expression, and I’m used to always seeing how Evan feels.
“Ugh. I’m crying. You aren’t supposed to make me cry.” Mom breaks the moment when she leans over and hugs Evan. “You’re always welcome here. In fact, I might be disappointed if Frankie ever comes without you again.”
“Gee thanks, Ma,” I tease.
The mood lightens after that. We all eat dinner together before playing a game of Pictionary because that’s just how my family rolls.
When it’s time to go, Evan excuses himself to use the restroom, and Mom pulls me aside. “Oh, Frankie. I like him so much. He’s such a sweet boy.”
“Thanks, Ma. I like him too.”
She smiles and pats my cheek. “I know you do, maybe even more than you realize, but I won’t push you on that right now. Today was…perfect. You typically struggle a lot more with the anniversary.”
I shrug because there’s nothing to say, really. She’s right. It’s a hard day for me. But today wasn’t. “I feel good around him. He makes me feel like I’m something, and I’m not ready to dissect what that means, but I know it’s there, Ma.” Because what Evan and I have…I’ve never had with anyone else, and what if changing the dynamics of it fucks us up? I couldn’t handle losing my best friend.
“You make me so proud,” she says right as Evan comes out. Mom and Dad walk us to the car where they hug me, then Evan, telling us they’ll see us soon.
We’re both quiet as I turn down surface streets to get us to the freeway. It’s not until I’ve merged that Evan says, “I don’t know how to thank you for today.”
“Then don’t. You don’t have to thank me, Ev.”
“I know, and that’s what makes me want to do it even more. No one has ever treated me the way you do. No one has ever cared that much.”
My heart squeezes uncomfortably. I fucking hate that he’s been through so much. That people didn’t see him for who he is, that people like Peter took advantage of him and his parents didn’t love him the way they should have. “It’s their fucking loss. Not yours, okay? You’re better than all the rest of them.”
“Well, it must be true if you say it,” he replies, and I can tell he’s trying to lighten the mood, so I let him.
“Obviously. I’m fucking Frankie.”
“Fucking Frankie, huh? It sounds like a porno.”
Rolling my eyes, I chuckle. “What would your porno be? Edging Evan?”
“Basically!”
“Except for the other night.”
If it were light, I have no doubt I’d see a blush on his cheeks. “Yeah, except for then.”
We’re quiet again, and I wonder if I fucked things up by mentioning the blowjobs. I don’t think so. There’s been no weirdness between us at all, but it’s also been a pretty emotional day.
Once we’re into our unit at Metropolis, Evan stretches and says, “It’s been a long day. I think I’m going to shower and head to bed.”
I nod, feeling like there’s something I should say but not sure what it is. I can’t remember a time in my life when I’ve felt unsure of what to say to a guy before. The last person I should feel that way with is Evan.
“Yeah, me too.”
We both pause, but then Evan starts heading for his room. He gets to the door before I say, “Hey, Ev?”
“Yeah?”
“When the sperm donor first went to prison, I struggled a lot. I was sad and lonely and confused. My mom got me this puppy—a golden retriever. God, I fucking loved that dog. I only had her for about three years before she got sick and we lost her. She was so damn sweet. She loved to cuddle and play. Maggie was my best friend and got me through some really hard times. She really was the most loyal dog you could have…she reminds me of you. I think a golden retriever would be perfect.”
He pauses, watches me, takes me in. It’s a moment later that I realize I’m holding my breath, waiting for him to answer. “I…thanks, Frankie. I like that. A golden retriever sounds perfect.”
I nod and then go to my room. Even though I rarely do, I close the door behind me. My heart is beating a little too fast and, fuck, I want to march across the condo, go to his room, and take him. My fingers tingle with the need to feel him, touch him, but what if it ruins our friendship?
It won’t…this is Evan. Nothing could come between us.
Is it worth the risk though? And hell, how do I know he even wants me? Sure, we blew each other a few days ago, but that doesn’t mean he wants a repeat performance.