Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
It was the break away from reality I needed, and it always seemed to fix any problems. For the first time in my life, that’s no longer the case. It doesn’t feel the same anymore. I’ve become accustomed to Drew’s stalking and lingering presence, and without him here, the missing pieces become more noticeable.
There is still plenty of lingering and whispering, though. I didn’t expect so much spotlight to be put on me or for everyone to find out about Drew’s and my torrid love affair and spin it in a soap opera way. I guess I should’ve anticipated the worst.
I try my best to focus on the words in the textbook in front of me, but they might as well be printed in a foreign language with how much sense they make. A groan of frustration bubbles out of me when I think of how much more work I need to do and how much I’m not getting done. The stack of worksheets gets smaller every day, but I’m not used to being behind on my work. Schoolwork is the one thing I excel at, and I’m usually so far ahead on that, I’d be doing extra credit.
I frown at the textbook, wishing I could make my memories of Drew disappear, wishing this damn place didn’t hold so much of who he and I were inside its walls.
I haven’t heard from Drew since the other night when I brought up us being all or nothing. If we’re going to do this, then we need to be a team. We need to trust each other, but that means I need to be willing and capable of trusting him. I need to accept what happened, give him my heart again, and hope he doesn’t make the same mistake twice. In many ways, I’ve already done that, but mentally, I’m afraid to cross that line, to speak the words I love you to him in fear that they’ll be twisted and used against me.
The mere thought makes me sick to my stomach. A dark shadow falls over the textbooks in front of me, and my heartbeat kicks into overdrive. Drew. I both want it to be him and not be him because craving his attention terrifies me. It leaves me vulnerable and weak.
Looking up from the textbook and seeing Sebastian standing there instead of Drew, I’m filled with disappointment and relief.
Stupid emotions. Stupid heart.
“Figured you could use some company and maybe a meal,” he announces, dropping a fast food bag down on the textbook. How did he know? My stomach lets out a loud, angry growl right then, and I snatch it from the spot.
His presence is a well-needed interruption. It's not as if I'm doing anything anyway. I can’t study because I can’t stop thinking about Drew. And thinking about Drew reminds me of all I lost, and now the one place I used to find solace in is no longer an escape for me.
Jesus, I’m a mess.
I rifle through the bag, and someone has the gall to hush me from the other side of the cubicles. I poke my head up and glare. Probably what I should have done when I arrived. But nothing and no one will come between me and this juicy cheeseburger right now.
“I’m going to assume, since you’re ravaging around inside that bag like a small raccoon, that the answer is yes? You could use the company and a meal?”
The grin on his face and the sarcasm in his voice make me ignore his question. I maneuver the burger so the paper cradles it and lick my lips before opening my mouth wide to take a bite. I’m not like most girls, which is painfully obvious to anyone who pays attention to me. I’ll choose a greasy burger and fries over chicken and leafy greens any day. Nothing against chicken, or lettuce, or girls who like it, but I’m not afraid of a nice meaty burger.
A moan of pure blissful pleasure escapes my mouth at that first bite, and my eyes catch on Sebastian, who is watching me with a wry twist of his lips. Is it embarrassing to enjoy a burger this much? Maybe, but who cares?
"What?" I mumble, mouth full as I chew.
"What a fucking lady you are."
I nearly choke on the bite as I laugh and give him a nonchalant shrug. "Good thing I never claimed to be anything of the sort."
I peer back into the bag and spot the fries. Perfectly golden shoestring fries. My mouth waters, and I pull them out next, carefully arranging them on a napkin so I don't get grease on my textbooks.
"So what’s the real reason you’ve graced me with your presence and provided me with lunch? And don’t say it’s because you thought I looked lonely and hungry over here in the corner all by myself,” I ask curiously once I've swallowed the massive bite.