Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
“Right.” My jaw clenches.
“We’ll be okay,” Felix says, wrapping his warm arms around my neck, and he sounds so sure now and no longer worried about anything.
I wish feelings were contagious.
“Maybe I should let you tattoo that on me.”
And I’m not being serious at all, but Felix sucks in a sharp breath and suddenly looks so happy and hopeful and proud.
“Shit,” I mumble, grinning at him.
“We’ll get matching ones, Jake! Holy fuck. I love that idea.”
He kisses me and we’re both laughing now, but our mouths still taste like lube.
“Fucking watermelon,” I grumble, wiping off his lips and then mine. “I’m picking up flavorless today. No more fruit.”
“I’m so happy you love eating ass, Jake. Am I glowing? I feel like I’m glowing.”
“Shut up.” I laugh.
I pick up the shirt I wore yesterday and clean my hands off with it.
“Wait. Are you working today?” Felix asks. “I thought you went in like, super early. What time is it?”
Felix steps over to the one small window and uses his finger to lift the blind.
“Well. The sun’s up. Are you screwed?” He looks back at me.
“I called out last night. Didn’t feel like dealing with that bullshit today.”
I find my sweatpants halfway under the bed and pull them on.
“Oh. I get that,” Felix says. “Yesterday was a lot. You probably need the day off. And it’s not a bad idea to hit up a few meetings today. You know?”
“I was thinking the same thing.” Our eyes lock. “What are you doing? Do you have to work?”
“Yeah.” He frowns. “I really can’t call out. I have two appointments and they already put money down.”
“It’s fine. We can go to a meeting together tonight.”
“Okay.”
Felix smiles easily, then his head tilts a little and his eyes narrow, and I suddenly feel like he’s looking for a tell.
“What.”
“You’re acting okay but are you?” he asks. “How do you feel now after what happened with your brother?”
Laughter catches in my throat, which is such a strange reaction to hearing CJ’s name after everything that happened yesterday and how fucked up my mood has been over it, but I decided something overnight.
“I’d never do what he did,” I say. “I don’t care how pissed off I am or fucked up over something, I would never do this to my brother. He doesn’t think I can stay sober? He doesn’t care if I do or not? Fuck him. I’ll prove him wrong. He’s a piece of shit and I don’t need him anyway. And he hits like a little bitch.”
The ache in my jaw gets ignored.
Felix pulls his shoulders back and stands taller, and I can tell so easily how badly he wants to point out how hard I fell when I took that punch yesterday, but he chooses to give me this.
“I’m glad you know you can do this, Jake.”
“You will too. We’ll beat this.”
And I believe it now.
“We’ll be okay,” Felix says.
Oh, fuck.
The smile on his face right now? Blinding.
He wiggles his brows on his way out of the bedroom, and I shout after him.
“I never agreed to that tattoo!”
I drop Felix off at his shop and then drive halfway across town to a meeting at some run-down Methodist church, and no matter how determined I am to prove my brother wrong, it’s still difficult doing this. All of it.
Being here and staying in my seat and relating to complete strangers.
I don’t know anyone, and no one welcomes me or even looks my way.
And the snack situation? Ha.
What snack situation. There isn’t even a table set up.
It’s a fucking joke.
But I stay the full ninety minutes, and I’m okay by the end of it because of Felix and his texts.
If you own one guinea pig in Switzerland you could get arrested
ARRESTED JAKE
It’s considered animal abuse bc the pigs are social and could get lonely
omfg i love that
how’s the meeting
good snacks?
how are you
I miss you <3
dean says hi
I wonder if my boyfriend knows how cute he is let me ask him
jake
do u know how cute u are
There’s a picture attached.
Felix is standing in front of a mirror in what I’m assuming is the bathroom at the tattoo shop. I see part of a sink. The curved, brass faucet.
And he’s not blocking any of his face at all with the phone this time, so I get to see his full smile and lifted cheeks and both eyes staring right at me, and I stare back.
Holy fuck. That’s my boyfriend.
How lucky am I?
His phone is in front of his chest and his other arm is bent up and hidden behind that damn beanie, the one he wasn’t wearing when I dropped him off, but I’m so glad he’s wearing now.
It goes great with his smile and my old hoodie he ran back inside the house for after stepping out into the October chill in one of his sleeve-cut shirts and yelping about his nipples freezing off.