Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Whoa. What the fuck?
“Hey, man, relax,” Ben says, coming up beside CJ and dropping a hand on his shoulder.
CJ shrugs it off and stares me down. “You should’ve reached out to me and you fuckin’ didn’t, and I wanna hear you tell me why.”
Everyone is silent now and looking right at me.
Maybe they all need to hear this because they’re all wondering the same thing.
Shit. Is this my fault?
“I don’t know, CJ.” My mind is racing now. “I swear, I thought you knew—”
“Why didn’t you text me to make sure? Or call. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me what was happening to my wife?”
“Because you were going to give me shit about Felix, and I didn’t want to hear it! Okay? Fuck!” I pull at my hair. “I didn’t want to talk to you! But I would’ve if Riley didn’t say she was fine. She promised me she was okay!”
“She did,” Felix says from beside me. “She said her cramps were normal.”
“Am I talking to you?” CJ growls.
And the look he’s giving Felix right now? Fuck him.
“What the fuck. Are you even going to tell us if Riley’s okay?” I ask. “No one will tell us anything. We’ve all been worried, CJ. What’s going on?”
My brother shudders a breath and blinks several times like he’s clearing his head. And I think he quits looking at me like he hates my guts.
At least temporarily.
“She just got out of surgery,” he says. “She lost a lot of blood, but they were able to save her.”
A collective sigh leaves the group surrounding us.
“And the baby?” one of the girls ask.
CJ doesn’t even look at whoever just spoke.
He keeps his eyes trained on me and faintly shakes his head.
“Fuck,” I groan.
I grip the back of my neck with one hand while Felix grabs hold of the other and rests his head on my arm. He tells me how sorry he is.
I knew there was a strong chance of the baby not surviving, not with that much blood loss, but it feels like we weren’t prepared to lose him or her. Like hearing this news was the last thing we thought we’d hear.
This hurts.
I can’t imagine how my brother feels right now.
Or Riley. Fuck. She’s probably devastated.
I stand there and watch the group take turns comforting CJ.
The girls hug him, and the guys offer their apologies. Reed looks especially torn up, and I remember he’s Riley’s brother.
I wait for my turn to say something, anything. To offer comfort to the person who needs it the most. And the whole time everyone does the very thing I want to be doing, CJ doesn’t pull his gaze away from mine. He’s locked in.
He doesn’t look at anyone else when they speak to him, and I don’t really understand why.
So, I ask, “What?”
Because if he has something to say to me, he should say it.
His eyes narrow, and his chest swells with the breath he inhales.
Then he lets me have it.
“You’re a piece of shit and you always will be. Have I ever told you that?”
My head jerks back. “What.”
“Don’t do this, man,” Ben warns my brother.
CJ doesn’t hear that and steps closer to me, asking, “How many times have you called me to help you or get you out of something when you’re about to get fucked up or you’re already fucked up, and I drop everything I’m doing, every goddamned time. No hesitation. I’m there for you whenever, no matter what, even if I fucking hate you that day, I’m there! How many times, Jake?”
I open my mouth to tell him I don’t know, but he cuts me off.
“Actually, don’t answer that, because it’s not like I’m done, right?” He laughs, and it sounds twisted. “There’s always going to be a next time with you. You’ll fuck up and call me to save your ass, and I will! Every damn time! Big brother to the rescue, right?”
“I’m not going to fuck up again.”
“That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard you say, junkie. You’re already putting your sobriety at risk by fucking around with him.” He glances at Felix. “And since he seems to take priority for you over everyone, including your family, it’s really just a matter of when.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? What family?”
“My fucking wife!”
CJ is in my face now, we’re chest to chest, and I can feel his rage and all the hate he’s had for me forever.
He’s bottled it up, and now he’s bursting open with it. I’ve never seen him this way.
“You knew she was feeling off, and you didn’t do shit about it, did you?” he asks. “How hard is it to send one fucking text to me? Are you that selfish, Jake? I mean, do you really not give a single shit about me?”
The pain in his voice makes my stomach drop out. How could he think this way?