Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“Yes. I bought you books.”
“Kai, I’m going to be honest with you.”
“That’s fine.” That’s all I wanted her to be—even if it hurt.
A tiny smile found her lips, and her eyes met mine. “You had my forgiveness the moment you showed up with novels.”
My whole body relaxed with relief. I didn’t even know I was tense. “Yeah?”
“Of course. You were a jerk and completely out of line, but you’re also human. People make mistakes, and you owned up to yours. I appreciate that.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Thanks, Holly.”
“Not a problem. Just don’t let it happen again.”
I gave her a half grin. “I’ll do my best.”
She parted her lips to speak, but instead of words, she leaped toward me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. I breathed her in as I hugged her back.
“I’m sorry I made you cry,” I whispered as I rested my chin on her head.
“Thank you. I needed to hear that.” She pulled back, and I instantly missed her touch. I didn’t realize how cold I was until her warmth found me.
Her phone dinged, making her return to reality. “Oh crap. I forgot. I was on my way out to meet Matthew.”
An alarm hit me as I straightened my stance. “Wait, what?”
“He’s cooking me dinner tonight. I was heading over there.”
“You’re still seeing him?”
She looked at me as if I’d grown three heads. “Um, yes? Of course.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“What are you talking about? Because we are dating.”
“Even after what I told you?”
“Um, didn’t you just come here to apologize for that night?”
I huffed as annoyance began to build in my body. Not at Holly, though. At Matthew. “No. I apologized for how I spoke to you. I wasn’t apologizing for everything I said about Matthew. He doesn’t like you, and I think he’s just playing the long game to try to sleep with you.”
The shock in Holly’s eyes almost made me regret my words, but I meant them. I couldn’t take them back, either, because I noticed little subtleties after watching Matthew that night. I noticed his eyes dart to other women when Holly wasn’t looking. He’d be a little too much of a gentleman toward her but then check out the server behind her back. Matthew was a bit too smug. Sure, he did everything right on the surface, but I was looking deeper than that. He wasn’t the one for her.
“You can’t be serious right now, Kai. I thought we got past this,” Holly sighed, going to grab her keys to leave.
“I thought we did, too, but clearly, you didn’t take my words to heart. Don’t sleep with that man.”
“I think it’s time for you to go, Kai.”
I sighed and raked my hand through my hair. “Holly…listen to me. You’ll regret it.”
“That’s enough, Kai.”
“But—”
“Kai. Please. Leave,” she ordered once again, this time sterner.
“I bet he has shown you so many red flags, but you’re so desperate not to be alone that you are ignoring all the signs that he’s not the one.”
“Stop it, Kai.”
“Not until you wake up. You’re acting pathetic over a man who’s not worth it.”
“I’m not pathetic.”
“Geez, Holly.” I groaned as I rubbed the back of my neck. I wasn’t getting my point across the way I’d hoped. I wasn’t an author like her. I wasn’t good with words. Especially with my thoughts being all jacked up and scrambled. “I’m not calling you pathetic. I’m saying you’re acting pathetic.”
“That sounds like the same thing.”
“That’s because you’re not listening. You’re too deep in your feelings to disconnect from thinking everything’s a personal attack.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you’re just too disconnected from your emotions to realize that you’re coming off as a jerk!”
That was one hundred percent a possibility. I knew I was screwed up when it came to feeling things. I didn’t need Holly to tell me that fact.
“I know who I am. I know I’m a disconnected asshole. That doesn’t change the fact Matthew is still a dick. I mean, hell, that night you wanted steak, and as you were ordering, he cut you off and got you chicken.”
“He said I had to try it, and it was amazing.”
“Of course, it was amazing. Ayumu only makes amazing food. That’s not the point. Matthew belittled you as if you didn’t know what you wanted.”
“You don’t know him.”
“Yes, but I know you,” I snipped, “and you deserve more than what he can give you, but you’re so afraid of being alone that you are getting in your own way.”
“Maybe that’s true, okay? Maybe I am afraid to be alone. Maybe everyone’s not as perfect and independent as you, Kai, and maybe they don’t thrive in solitude. Maybe, just maybe, people want actual connections in life instead of living in their loneliness.”
“You think I like this? You think I like being alone?” I barked, feeling a rage of sadness rippling through my chest. “I hate it here! I hate this feeling. I hate waking up alone, sleeping alone, and doing everything alone. But I would still choose this every day instead of crawling into the wrong person’s arms and accepting their breadcrumbs of love. Half-assed, lazy admiration is all he can give you, and it’s embarrassing how you’re so willing to accept it.”