Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“What happened?” she asks. I cover my face with my hands and slump against the wall. “Leo told me last night that you guys split.”
I try and even out my breathing. I have so little energy, I’m not sure how I’ll get to the couch, let alone finish packing. I check my watch. I have to leave in an hour if I’m going to make my flight. “Yeah,” I say. “I wasn’t planning to end things. It just… happened.”
Jules puts her arm around me and leads me into the living room. “I thought you really liked him.”
“I did. I do.”
“Then isn’t there a way to work through things?”
I sigh and collapse on the sofa. “It’s not a question of working through issues between us. There are no issues between us.” I feel horrible for leaving Worth the way I did, but it will be better for him in the long run.
Her brows knit together. “Then why?”
“Because I have stuff I need to work through.”
“And you had to end things with Worth to do that?”
“I kind of did, yeah.” I tell her about my trust issues and the way I feel like my past was a lie. How I’m not sure who I am when my foundations aren’t just rocked but smashed to smithereens. “I need to figure it out,” I say. “And I don’t want to lean on Worth because he would take the weight—that’s the man he is. I’d never really know if I was with Worth because I needed the support or because I wanted to be with him. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who I feel I owe a debt to. If I’m going to sink, I need to do that on my own. If I swim, I want to know I did that on my own, too. That’s the only way I can be the kind of woman who deserves a man like Worth. Does that make sense?”
“Okay,” she says, tilting her head to one side. “But say I got some devastating news about my past that rocks me to my core. I wouldn’t just walk away from my marriage to deal with it on my own.”
“Right,” I say. “But I married Worth because of what happened with my parents. The whole wedding was a reaction. I don’t want to stay married to him as a reaction, too. It would be like I was using him. I want to be with him because I love him. Because I want to build a future with him.”
“So that’s it?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. I feel like I love the man, but I don’t trust anything anymore. “He says he’ll wait, but I can’t expect him to wait forever.”
Her eyes widen at the possibility that it’s not the end between us, but I can’t think too much about what might happen.
“I don’t know how long it will take to sort my shit out.”
She glances down at my suitcase. “So for now, you’re running away?”
I shake my head. “The exact opposite. If I was running away, I wouldn’t be going to Cincinnati. I’m facing shit straight-on. No more avoiding my problems or pretending they’re not happening. I’m going to speak to my mom, tell her I feel betrayed by her as well as Dad, and I’m… I’m going to consider seeing my father.”
I want to be the kind of wife Worth deserves. If I figure stuff out and he’s still there, I’ll be in a position to tell him I love him. And if he moves on? It will break my heart, but I will wish with everything I have that he’s happy. Because he deserves it.
TWENTY-NINE
Worth
I wake with a start and wonder where I am. I can’t remember getting into bed last night. Probably something to do with all the whisky I drank. At least I slept. It’s the first time since Sophia ended things between us. I still haven’t looked at the divorce papers she signed. As soon as she left, I folded them up and stuffed them in my coat pocket, trying to get them out of sight even if there was no hope of putting them out of mind. I didn’t even want to think about what to do with them next. Drunk me was holding out hope that Sophia would have a change of heart. In the sober light of day, I know that’s not going to happen.
Banging from downstairs makes the floorboards vibrate. After a second of confusion, I realize someone’s at my front door. I scrub my hands over my face and sit up in bed.
More banging.
I pull on joggers and a tee shirt and go and see who the hell is trying to break down my front door.
I pull the door open to find Leo and Byron on my stoop, Leo holding a cardboard cup carrier with three cups in it and Byron holding a bottle of whisky.