Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
He takes me in, listening. “It’s hard,” he says. “I often feel… responsible for…”
“Everyone?” I suggest. “Like you’re everyone’s caretaker, father, benefactor, protector.”
“Maybe,” he says, and I link my fingers through his.
“But who’s looking after you?” I ask. “You’re busy running around, making sure everyone else is taken care of. Who’s taking care of you? Who’s meeting your needs?”
“I do okay,” he says.
I raise my eyebrows. Doing okay isn’t enough.
“Marrying you is one of the first times I felt like I wanted something for me,” he says. “I knew it could potentially cause problems with the guys. I knew I might piss off Efa and Jules, and I might even permanently damage my relationship with Fisher or Leo. And I knew when my sisters found out, they’d be pissed. But I did it anyway. You had your reasons for marrying me—but I wasn’t trying to make a mockery of the institution of marriage. Not at all.”
I swallow. “I’ve hurt your feelings,” I say. “I don’t want to lie to you. And I didn’t know you then. I felt something between us. But honestly, I wasn’t thinking about being with you forever. I wasn’t thinking past the next hour. Things are… different now.”
He nods, and I slide my hand up his chest, but I don’t say more. I want to hear what he’s thinking.
“I understand. My feelings aren’t hurt. But it was different for me. The moment I saw you, it was like a beacon went off in me. I wanted more immediately. If I’m honest, it frightened me a little. I’ve never felt that way. And then when I saw you in Vegas again, I longed for something to bind us together. The shots. The conversation. The ceremony.”
His eyes flit across my face, one way, then the other. “I still feel like that. Like you’re it for me. Like I want to dive in deeper every time I see you. I know we’re not going at the same pace. I know you’re going through things, so I’m hanging back, happy to be ready when you’re ready. But, Sophia, I need you to know that I’m ready whenever you are. I’m here. Waiting. If you don’t want to move into the brownstone because of what you’ve got going on with your dad, that’s fine. If you don’t want to move into the brownstone because it’s my place and you’d feel like a roommate, then let’s find somewhere else together, because I’m right there next to you, ready. Not because I want to be your benefactor or caretaker. But because I want to be your husband. I want you.”
I don’t know what to say. I’ve never felt so adored by a guy. And it’s not that I don’t feel the same, but I’m holding back. I can’t help it. When I’m with Worth, I want to stay exactly like this, with him. I can’t imagine my life any other way. It’s only when I take a step back, when I see the other parts of my life moving in different directions, that I doubt what we have. I’d like to fast-forward to the future to see how things shift. Will I catch up to Worth? Will I be able to set aside everything other than him, for him? I don’t have the answers to those questions. But I owe it to him to be honest.
“I’m not ready to move in with you because of what I’ve got going on back in Cincinnati.” I can’t even bring myself to say the word “dad” or “father” right now. “And honestly, I don’t know when I’m going to be ready.”
“That’s okay,” he says. “I’m a patient man.”
Something in my stomach stirs like the silt at the bottom of a clear river, making everything murky. I don’t know if I’m ever going to be ready. Worth’s standing in front of me, offering me everything I could ever want in a man. And I’m still not ready. What’s it going to take?
“Promise me one thing, Worth?” I ask.
“Anything,” he replies.
“That if waiting becomes too much, you walk away. You don’t stay to help me or support me. You go.”
He closes his eyes in a long blink. “I don’t know if I can make that promise.”
And that’s the thing with Worth: he’s honest to his core. I know I’ll have to be the one who walks away if the time comes.
But that time isn’t here yet. And I hope it never arrives.
My phone interrupts the conversation, which is probably for the best. It’s Noah.
“Hey,” I say as I answer. Worth kisses me on the head and heads to collect the bags from where he dumped them.
“What are you doing next weekend?” Noah asks.
I watch Worth as he takes the bags through to the back. I know my suitcase is heavy, but he makes it look effortless. He makes everything look effortless.