Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
There was a knock at the door, and Mia stuck her head in. “It’s time, Anson. You ready?”
I smiled at her. “Yeah, let’s do this.”
“I’ll see you out there,” West told me. Mia pointed him in the direction of the entrance to the room where the media waited. Mia and I met with my team and coach. We filed out together, all of us, me stopping at the podium with Mia beside me, and my coach and team behind me, together, in solidarity. I knew some of the guys were upset—some because they didn’t want this hanging over our season, others because they didn’t want to share the locker room with a gay man—but they were there because they had to be. Others had my back completely.
I cleared my throat. “Thank you all for coming.” There were…fuck, there were a lot of media people in front of me, all of them waiting with bated breath for the scoop.
My gaze found Elias and Carly…Mom…West, and I knew I could do it. I wanted to do it, and no matter what happened, I would have them, and they were what mattered.
“Football has been my life for as long as I can remember. My dad loved the game. He used to play catch with me when I couldn’t even hold a regulation-size ball. In some of the photos, I’d swear the thing was bigger than me.”
People laughed. Mom cried. I continued.
“My father died when I was young. It wasn’t easy for us—me, my mom, and my brother, Elias. We didn’t have much. Mom had to work two jobs to make ends meet. As soon as I was old enough, I worked too. Anyone who knows me knows I have a bit of a hero complex going on. I have to fix things for people I love, make their lives easier, so I took a lot of pressure on myself. My one escape—the thing I loved and always had no matter how hard life got—was football. So, as I got a little older, as I started to realize that I…”
I took a deep breath. Found West again. Took strength from his encouraging smile. “As I started to recognize that I felt about men the way I was supposed to feel about women, I knew I had to hide it. I knew I had to lie because I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t be who I was and have football.”
There was a collective gasp in the room.
“I spent my life lying, denying who I was, and telling myself football was enough. And as much as I love the game, it’s not enough anymore. I want football and my life. Football and honesty. Football and love. I’m not willing to accept anything less anymore. It took meeting the right man for me to have the strength to not only say this, but to be proud of it. I’m a proud gay man and the best damn tight end in the league, and come on, guys, no tight end jokes.”
I couldn’t believe I’d said it, but it earned me some laughter.
“Nothing about me has changed. When I had a breakout season last year, I was a gay man. When we won the Super Bowl, I was a gay man. When we hold that trophy over our heads at the end of another great season this year, I’ll be a gay man, and I’m telling you right now, you’re looking at this year’s championship team. The Lightning are taking it home again, and you can quote me on that.”
My team cheered behind me, clapping and shouting their agreement.
When things quieted down again, I said, “That’s it. That’s all I have for you. Thanks again for being here.”
Chaos broke out, everyone shouting questions and trying to get my attention. Mia went to the podium and told them we weren’t taking questions, while I went to my team. Darren was the first to slap me on the back in support, and then the crazy motherfucker wrapped his arms around me in a hug, lifting me off the ground.
I knew photos of that would be all over the internet, TV, and in magazines.
“Be careful, Edwards, or people are gonna think you’re Hawkins’s boyfriend,” Chancey teased.
“Maybe I am.” Darren waggled his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes. Most everyone laughed. A few people looked at us as if they were really wondering.
We went into the locker room after that, Coach having called a quick team meeting. We talked a little, and he reiterated his support before telling us, “That aside, and I hate to say this, Hawkins, but this will follow us around all season. We’re going to be the team with the out gay player, and the media is going to ask you how you feel about that and bring it up when they’re talking about our game. It’s shitty, but it’s the way it is. We say we support Hawkins, and that’s it. Make it about our game because that’s what matters. And for God’s sake, we better fucking have a kickass season and win the championship again, not only because of Hawkins’s big-ass mouth, but to shut everyone else up. If we’re winning, that’ll be what they’re forced to talk about.”