Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
I was wrong.
I’m here.
Alone.
I quickly finish getting ready. The urge to make myself up is there, but I ignore it. I pull my hair back in a ponytail. I use the bare minimum of makeup and slide on some cut-off jeans and a Texas Longhorn’s T-shirt. I’m a mom taking her kid out for the day. Today has nothing to do with Jake Ryan other than I’m forced to share air with him.
And my son.
That leaves me feeling raw, but I’m going to ignore it for now–or at least try. I go into the living room where I left Mom watching her morning news show earlier. I try never to watch the news. It’s usually nothing but depressing. I like to operate under the whole if-I-don’t-know-it’s-better scenario. It’s probably not smart, but so far, living my life like an ostrich, with my head buried in the sand, has served me well.
“You look lovely, dear.”
“You do, Mommy! You’re pretty!”
I laugh. “You two are good for my ego. I laid your clothes out on your bed, Lennon. Go get dressed. Jake will be here with breakfast soon, and you need to be ready so we can get our day started.”
“Jake’s coming?” Lennon asks, sounding excited. My heart stutters in my chest.
God, I hope I’m doing the right thing.
“Yep. So, no girls’ bathroom for you. Now, go get dressed.”
“Alright!”
I watch him run from the room. When I look up, my grandmother is staring at me, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the worry in her eyes.
“I’m okay, Mom.”
“Don’t give me that. I know how much you love that boy.”
“Loved. I loved Jake once. That’s over. Besides, today isn’t about him. It’s about giving Lennon a chance at having his father in his life. That’s it.”
“How many times are you going to say that to yourself before you finally believe it, baby?”
“Mom–”
“Katie, you grieved that man for years. It colored everything you did—even after you began to fall for Jeff.”
“It made me cautious. I should have held onto that since we see how that’s working out.”
“No word from him?” she asks, and I can tell she’s worried–so am I.
I shake my head and grimace as I admit that Jeff hasn’t cared enough to return one call or text.
“Nothing.”
“He’s probably sorting through everything, baby,” she murmurs, but she avoids my eyes. Mom loves Jeff. She wouldn’t say anything bad about him. She’s upset though. Me? I’m just hurt.
“Maybe so,” I whisper because there’s not much more to say.
The doorbell rings, and I pinch the bridge of my nose and hold my head down. Showtime, I guess. For some reason, walking toward the front door feels like I’m about to face the firing squad. It’s almost as if I can hear the rifles preparing to fire in my ears.
God, I hope I survive today.
I open the door to find Jake standing with his arms overfilled with white diner bags–large ones. There’s so much there that the only thing I see are his worn jeans, a rodeo buckle, and his slightly crooked cowboy hat. His arms are wrapped around all the stuff he’s carrying.
How the hell did he walk to the door like this without falling?
“Oh my gosh, did you buy the whole diner out of food?” I gasp, reaching for one of the bags, which is perched precariously on top of two others and completely covering his face. As I take the bag away from him, Jake’s lazy smile and sparkling brown eyes are revealed, and I have the strongest urge to put the bag back, so I don’t have to see him.
I don’t do that, however. Instead, I turn and walk toward the kitchen breakfast bar, leaving him to follow me—which sadly he does.
“I just wanted to make sure I got everything Lennon might want,” Jake explains.
I don’t know why his words make my heart flutter in my chest and make it hard for me to breathe. I bite down my retort that if he had been here from the beginning, he would know what my child would like. He can say whatever he wants, but he’s known the truth for four years, and he did nothing in that time. Even before that, I know he said he didn’t know Lennon was his. I just can’t see how he couldn’t have at least suspected it. I push my feelings aside and paste on a stupid fake smile.
“Well, I don’t see how you could have missed it with everything you bought.”
“I hope not,” he says, and he looks worried. Maybe he really is concerned about getting Lennon to like him. I’m too bitter to give him the benefit of the doubt, however.
I start unpacking all the bags. I’m pretty sure there’s enough food here to feed the entire Longhorn football and basketball teams—with some left over. Container after container begins lining the counter as Jake helps me unpack.