Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
The thought makes me shake harder, but I can’t tell if it’s anticipation or trepidation. “Not tonight.”
Gaeton huffs out a laugh. “No, not tonight.”
Beast brushes a soft kiss to my lips. It’s the first time he’s kissed me since we started this and I’m too frazzled to enjoy it. “You did well.” He doesn’t move back as he looks at Gaeton, and I have the strangest feeling that he wants to kiss the big man, too. The moment stretches out like taffy, sticky and fraught, until he finally sits back. “I’ll get a bath started. You’re going to be sore.”
“I already am.”
He chuckles and gives me one last squeeze. Then he’s gone, his footsteps soundless as he heads into the bedroom.
Gaeton’s arms tighten around me, the contact tethering me to this world when I feel like I might float away. I make myself as small as possible and cuddle into his chest. “I’m sorry.”
He rests his chin on the top of my head. “What are you sorry for?”
Some part of me is clamoring for me to shut my mouth, but the loose feeling has invaded my body and my brain, and I can’t seem to stop. “I never wanted to break anyone’s heart. I was selfish, but I didn’t realize I could hurt you the way I did. You and Beast are larger than life, and you always have been.” My eyes are trying to close, ignoring my mind’s command to stay open. “I was selfish and I couldn’t choose. I wanted it all.”
He strokes a hand down my back. “After today, it’s pretty fucking clear that we all made mistakes.”
That should make me feel better. I don’t want to be the only one who got things wrong before. Except it doesn’t. Time peels back and we’re in my room again, Gaeton angrily pacing with a ring box in his hand and me perched on the edge of my bed, my heart in my throat. I loved him so much, but I could only see that ring as a cage I’d never escape from. I couldn’t give him the answer he needed then, and he walked away from me because of it.
I’m not sure I can give him the answer he needs this time, either.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper.
“You don’t have to know what to do for twelve more days.” His hold tightens and he lifts me as he stands. “You have time.”
Time. I might laugh if I didn’t think I’d start sobbing. “We dated for two years and all that time didn’t make things clearer.”
“We weren’t operating with all the information then. We are now.” He carries me through his bedroom and to the bathroom where Beast has the massive tub halfway filled already. The thing is obscenely large, more hot tub than actual bathing tub. Gaeton pauses. “Straight into the tub?”
“Yes.” Beast walks to us and I’m still trying to figure out what he’s doing when Gaeton’s pants hit the ground and he steps naked into the tub.
The first hit of hot water makes me whimper but as he settles in behind me and coaxes me to stretch out my legs, the warmth starts to ease my shakes. I let loose a shuddering sigh and relax against Gaeton’s chest. The tub is easily large enough for him to stretch out fully and leave room left over. “Orgy-sized bed. Orgy-sized tub.”
His chuckle warms me as much as the water. “Gaeton-sized bed. Gaeton-sized tub.” He hooks an arm around my waist and shifts sideways a little. “Get in here, Beast. We all could use it.”
I half expect Beast to say no. He’s been right there with us all day, but something remains held apart. I don’t know what it is. Beast has always been a mystery to me. Even when he’s fucking me, he’s holding back. It’s part of what attracted me to him in the first place, but mysteries were meant to be discovered, a trail of answers through the years until you get to the very heart of them. With Beast, I never made it past the first layer.
He doesn’t say no. He simply steps out of the lounge pants and into the tub, settling opposite us so that all our legs end up tangled together. It feels weirdly right, but even in my blissed out state, I know better than to say as much. The rift between these men didn’t start with me, but my presence made it worse.
Another sin to lay at my feet, another form of penance to make. Another apology presses against the inside of my lips. Beast’s gaze lands on me and he shakes his head. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“If you want to be flogged, one of us will be the one to do it. You don’t need to mentally flog yourself over the past.”