Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 44435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 222(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 222(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
I never wanted to be the one to hurt him, but this… this was inevitable. I couldn’t not hurt him.
“I’ve been in love with you since you rescued me. Since I regressed and you took care of me as if regressing was a normal thing.” He sniffled and swiped the sleeve of his shirt under his nose. “I want nothing but you, Tango.”
I scrubbed my hands down my face, tugging roughly at my beard as if the pain could somehow center me. And while normally, it would, it didn’t now. Not when my boy was standing in front of me, professing his love for me, and I was about to break his fucking heart.
Finally, I dropped my hands back to my side with a loud smack, making him flinch. And that just fucking hurt even more. Drove the knife deeper into my chest. I hoped he knew I would never hurt him—not physically. Especially not when he was being so goddamn vulnerable with me. I was doing my best to save him from this.
He had no idea how brave he was being right now. Especially when he and I both knew I was about to break his heart. And he and I both knew it was going to be painful.
“Baby boy,” I rasped. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip, his chin wobbling. “We can’t happen.” He squeezed his eyes shut, a choked sob ripping from his throat. I wanted to hold him. Wrap him up in my arms and swear to never hurt him like this again. Take back all of my words. Give him everything he wanted.
But I wouldn’t let him settle for me. I fucking couldn’t. I could never be that selfish with him.
“Why?” he croaked, opening his eyes and looking at me again as tears ran down his cheeks. Every bit of my soul fucking shattered. “Why can’t we happen?”
I curled my hands into my fists to keep from reaching for him. They trembled at my sides, even after I dug my nails into my palms. I ached to just hold him and take all of this shit back. But I couldn’t be that selfish. Not with him. Never with him.
“I’m too old for you, Gabriel. And I’m just fucking broken pieces of a man. All I can offer you is protection and to take care of you. My kind of love…” I shook my head and sighed. “You don’t want it.”
He stepped back from me, his chest heaving. I reached for him then, unable to stop myself any longer, but he stepped back even further, out of my range so I couldn’t grab him. I clenched my jaw and dropped my hands back to my sides, fucking hating this. My muscles burned with the ache to make all this go away.
“Don’t tell me what I don’t want,” he cried, his face red, his eyes already bloodshot. “Because if there’s one thing I’m sure of in this world, it’s that I want you.” He took another step back, ripping me to pieces. I fucking deserved it. “You’re just being a fucking dick.”
With that, he spun on his heel and took off for our room. “Gabriel!” I shouted, but the only answer I got was the slamming of our bedroom door.
And the sound made me flinch.
15
Tango
“Fuck!” I shouted, running my hands over my face. I quickly turned off the stove and the oven before following after him, my gut twisting and churning. If there was one thing I hated in this world, it was seeing Gabriel upset. And knowing that he’d been upset enough to call me a dick had my heart wrenching in my chest.
It was fucking agonizing. If I was hurting this much having to deny him, I knew he was hurting ten times worse. And that just made the pain even harder to bear.
I quickly made my way to our room and twisted the handle, only to find it locked. I growled and leaned my forehead against the door, tightening my hold on the metal doorknob beneath my palm. I hated locked doors between us. They made me feel like I was crawling out of my fucking skin. I had to be able to get to him. Had to.
“Baby, open the door,” I called, my voice sounding strangled to my own ears.
“No,” he croaked, his voice thick with tears. My heart squeezed so painfully, it took my breath away. I’d fucking made him cry. He was crying. Because of me. “I want you to go away.”
I clenched my jaw. “Not happening, boy. Open the fucking door, or I’ll break it in. You promised me, remember?” I wasn’t above holding that promise over his head. Not when he needed me but wouldn’t let me close.
I had to fix this. There had to be a way to somehow undo all this damage I’d just done.