Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 44435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 222(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 222(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
But Tango would never feel the same way for me as I did for him, and I had to come to terms with that. All I would have of Tango were my fantasies and friendship.
But despite knowing all of that, I quickened my movements, precum leaking from my tip when Tango grunted again. I swallowed a moan as I cupped my balls with my other hand, tugging lightly. That was all it took—cum spurted from my tip, and a gasp ripped itself from my lungs. My ass clenched around nothing, painfully empty, as my cum painted the tile in front of me.
Tears sprang to my eyes, but I swallowed them back, wiping my eyes. I would not cry—not over something as stupid as not being able to have Tango the way I want him.
But was it possible that maybe one day Tango’s feelings would change and he’d love me the way I loved him? Hope blossomed in my chest. There was no stopping it, even if I knew I needed to squash that hope immediately.
I needed to make him fall in love with me, but how did I do that? How did I make a man as grumpy and self-assured as Tango fall for a crybaby like me who suffered from constant panic attacks and had a trauma list that was a mile fucking long?
I sighed and tilted my head back, staring at the popcorn ceiling above me.
I couldn’t make Tango fall in love me. Doing so would be like me being able to kick Gidget’s ass, which was damn laughable. Gidget, one of the club members, was an asshole, he terrified me, and he was also one of the best fighters in both charters. Fuck, I’d heard the story of him putting Halo in ICU during a drunken fight. You’d never know that had happened when you saw them together, acting like brothers and a tight-knit family, but he had.
If this—the way things were right now—was the only way I could have Tango, then that was what I’d have to settle for. I knew it, even if it hurt. My chest ached at just the mere thought of only ever being the boy Tango was taking care of and nothing more.
But I’d rather have him like this than not have him at all.
My mood had significantly plummeted by the time I finished my shower. Sadness hollowed out my chest, and my gut twisted. Tears threatened to burst from my eyes at any moment. I was barely holding it together.
I tugged on one of Tango’s hoodies before walking out of the closet, my towel clutched in my hand. Tango’s hoodie hung like a dress on me, but it gave me some of the comfort I needed. And I needed a fuck ton of it after destroying my mood by realizing Tango would never be mine.
One day, I’d have to watch him fall in love with someone else, and that would fucking kill me. My soul would be obliterated. Nothing would ever be able to heal it.
Tango looked up from his phone, frowning at me. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Quickly, I turned away from him and walked to the bathroom door to hang up my towel on the hook there.
“Gabriel,” he rumbled. I jumped in surprise, spinning around to face him. He was right behind me. I hadn’t even heard him get up or cross the room to me. Tango was silent like that. It was a bit scary at times how stealthily he moved.
He played with the drawstring on the hoodie before reaching up and cupping my cheek. I couldn’t help it; I leaned my face into his touch, closing my eyes. A tear ran down my cheek.
It hurt. My chest was fucking burning.
“Come here, baby,” he said softly, tugging me into his arms. Slowly, he walked us back to the bed, and when he sat on the mattress, he tugged me down onto his lap before laying us down, tangling our legs together. He tugged on the hood, pulling it over my head, and then tugged the blankets over us, cocooning me in everything him.
I pressed my body to his, wishing I could have more with him. Skin to skin. Him inside of me, using me as a cock warmer just so I could be as close to him as possible.
But this was all I could have. It had to be enough, even if I knew it wasn’t. Never could be.
“Want to talk about what’s got you so upset?” Tango asked softly, his lips brushing my forehead with every word he spoke.
I shook my head. Because how did I explain that I was falling apart because he would never truly be mine?
“Just hold me?” I quietly asked.
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, his arms flexing around me. “I’ve got you.”