Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
For my dad, I saw her anger. Her betrayal. Yet, as always, her need to understand.
North had excused himself once he knew Aria was going to be okay, and we’d sat down at the dining table with Dad.
“What’s her name?”
Dad looked exhausted. And maybe a tiny bit relieved. “Maggie.”
Aria nodded expressionlessly. “And you love her?”
“Yes.”
“But you love Mamma too?”
“Yes.” His voice cracked.
“Is she married?”
“No. She lost her husband. That’s how we got back in touch. I heard and reached out to give her my sympathies.”
“And you started an affair? A long-running affair that Mamma pretends not to know about but clearly does.”
Dad sighed heavily. “Your mamma isn’t faithful either.”
Wow.
Aria raised an eyebrow. “Did she start cheating before or after she found out you were?”
He gave us a sad smile. “After.”
“Why don’t you just leave each other?” my sister hissed angrily.
“Because we love each other.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but if North told me he was in love with another woman, that would destroy me and I would leave him.” Aria shoved away from the table. “You don’t … you can’t … it would be different if this was a life you and Mamma had chosen together. To be in an open marriage. But you forced this on her because you don’t have the balls to choose!” Her eyes flew to me. “And then you put a fifteen-year-old kid in the middle of your bullshit and you left her to deal with it because you were both too fucking cowardly to face your own fucking mess!”
I’d never heard my sister say the f-word that many times. Life with a Scottish husband was rubbing off on her. It was easier for me to laugh internally at this thought than process all the anger she was feeling. I knew that anger. I’d had ten years to process mine, though.
“I know.” Dad’s voice was rough with emotion as his eyes met mine. “Ally, I am so sorry. I didn’t … Jared made me face up to some harsh truths last night. I’ve been a shitty father. This”—he gestured around the beach house—“what the fuck does any of this matter when my kid feels abandoned by her parents?”
“I can’t believe you all hid this from me for so long.” Aria looked between us, her hurt shining bright. “I just … I need some time.” She strode away without another word, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor.
At the sound of the front door opening and closing, I looked at Dad. “Is Jared the reason you decided to tell the truth?”
“It’s been building for a long time. The lie. Jared just opened my eyes to things I’ve been denying about myself, and about you.” He blanched. “I didn’t know your mother hit you when you went to her with the truth. Jared bluntly relayed that information last night.”
Wow. Jared pulled no punches with my parents. Because he cared about me.
“Mamma just gave me the slap she probably wanted to give you.”
“Don’t.” Dad shook his head. “Don’t shrug it off like it’s not a big deal. It’s a big deal that you walked in on me with another woman when you were just a kid and a big deal that your mother hit you because of it. Has she hit you since or before?”
“No,” I promised him vehemently.
He visibly deflated with relief. “I can’t imagine Chiara lifting her hands to anyone.”
“Her actions are her own, and I’m not putting the slap on you. But she was in pain. A lot of pain when she hit me, and she wasn’t herself.” Lots of therapy had helped me get to a forgiving, compassionate place about that traumatizing moment between my mother and me.
“My selfishness has caused all my family pain. And Maggie. Jared was right.” Dad scrubbed a hand over his face. “The whole world can think I’m a legend, but I know the truth. The people who matter most know that the truth is unbearably disappointing.”
It was strange seeing my dad so down on himself. The man exuded confidence and self-assurance. This version of him was unrecognizable. But then hadn’t I always known that I didn’t really know my parents? They didn’t really know me.
“What is it about Maggie?” I asked out of morbid curiosity. “What makes it so hard to choose?”
Dad’s expression fell. “It’s difficult to explain. I just … with your mother, it’s always been exciting and passionate and adventurous. She challenges and excites me. But with Maggie, it’s more emotional. We connect on a soul level that I can’t explain. It’s quiet and simple and I feel at peace when I’m with her.”
Just like that, I experienced crystal clear clarity. What Dad had with two women, I was lucky to find with Jared.
I couldn’t let my husband go. Not without a fight.
“It’s not that I don’t have that with your mother. Your mother and I are a team, and we can talk about mostly anything. Maybe …” Dad shrugged, despondent. “Maybe with Maggie I could hold on to the guy I was before I became Wesley Howard.”