Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
I was.
“He died in my arms,” I blurted, the words wrenching out of nowhere.
Allegra jerked back, her gaze wide with anxiety. “Who did?”
“My grandfather.”
Understanding softened her expression. “Jared.” She reached for me, cupping my face in her palm. I closed my eyes, leaning into her touch. “Tell me.”
The memory filled my mind. Still clear as day. Granddad in my arms. That big man, helpless in my fucking arms. My eyes flew open and I felt the wet leak down my face, but I couldn’t stop it. I’d never told anyone the details. Just that he’d died in front of me. “I saw him go down. We were looking over a fence that needed reinforced after a gale had knocked the hell out of it. I turned and he was on his knees, clutching his arm. I got to him and he just collapsed onto me.
“I couldn’t help him,” I gasped. “I called for an ambulance, but I couldn’t help him. And he was looking up at me for help. After all he’d done for me … and I couldn’t help him. He was so scared. That big man. That strong man. He was so fucking scared and I couldn’t help him.”
I was barely aware of falling to my knees or Allegra coming with me. She was like a life raft as I clung onto her and cried like I hadn’t cried since the moment my grandfather died in my arms.
Thirty
Jared
It wasn’t the sunlight pouring beneath the hem of the curtains or my alarm that woke me the next morning.
It was Allegra.
She came bearing breakfast in bed.
I glanced blearily down at the tray she’d put between us as she climbed in beside me. There were eggs and toast and a wee plate of pancakes.
“They’re from a batter mix,” she admitted sheepishly. “I’m not quite at the pancakes-from-scratch level yet.”
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I’d asked, voice hoarse with sleep, “How long have I slept?”
“It’s six a.m.”
“Christ.”
After my emotional breakdown yesterday, Allegra had guided me into the house and into a shower. She’d tenderly washed my hair and body, without intent, other than to comfort. Then we’d gotten into bed, and I’d clearly fallen right to sleep.
It wasn’t like me to sleep so long.
It wasn’t like me to break down like I had.
As if she could read my mind, Allegra soothed a hand over my shoulder. “It’s been an intense few months, Jared. Longer even. You’ve been worried about the farm, we got freaking married, that turned into something neither of us expected, your asshole father terrorized the farm, and you had to go find him and become someone you don’t particularly like to get him to admit what he’d done. That is a shit ton to happen to anyone in a short period. Especially when you’ve been carrying what happened with your grandfather for the last six years. It’s not surprising that seeing your dad brought all the grief for your grandfather up again.”
I took her hand between mine and then pressed a tender kiss to her fingers. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
Allegra slid her other hand along my cheek, turning my head to her. Her fingers scratched gently over my beard as she whispered, “You’re amazing. And you have to know, Jared, that no one could have saved your grandfather. Whatever guilt you’re holding on to, you need to let it go. He’d want you to let it go.”
Perhaps it was sleep, or perhaps it was finally letting it all out, but I didn’t feel that agonizing lump of emotion rise in my chest now. It was a dull throb. Bearable. “I know.”
She leaned over to brush her mouth over mine. “Now eat.”
My stomach growled in answer. I grinned as Allegra giggled. “You’re lucky I’m hungry or I’d be on you like a horny fucking teenager right now.”
“Promises, promises.” She teased before nudging the tray closer.
We ate as Allegra caught me up on Aria and North’s situation. They had decided to try IVF and were cautiously optimistic. Allegra was supposed to stay at the estate until my return but had convinced Walker to drive her back to the farm in time for my arrival.
“Did Georgie keep you updated on things while you were away?” she asked as I finished off the pancakes.
Swallowing, I nodded and reached for my phone on the bedside table. “Did you put it on charge?” I asked, a smile in my voice.
“Yeah.” She cocked her head at my expression. “What does that look mean?”
I shrugged, giving her a small smile. “I’m not used to being taken care of like you take care of me.”
Allegra released a small, shaky breath. “Do you like it?”
In answer, I bent my head to kiss her, soft, affectionately. “I really like it.”
She smiled almost shyly in response, and I resisted the urge to tackle her. Instead, I swiped open my phone. “Georgie said everything was in order yesterday …” I trailed off at the sight of the missed call from Sorcha and the unread text message.