Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 49669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 248(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 248(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Christopher nodded. I was surprised when he continued on his own with “Even if there isn’t a long wait at the ER, sometimes the staff who work there, they look at you like…”
“Like what?” I asked gently.
Christopher let out a soft sigh. He began rubbing his uninjured palm over his knee. “Like you’re dirty,” he whispered.
“Christopher—” I began, but he continued as if I hadn’t spoken.
“It’s not all of them. Most are really professional, but you can always get someone who…” Christopher shook his head. “I’ve only had it happen to me once, but in school when we’d shadow the ER, I saw it happen a few times. And some of the people in my graduating class made it clear they hoped to never run into one of us during their careers.”
One of us.
That one little word spoke volumes. I could feel the anger vibrating through me as I thought about anyone hurting Christopher like that. He was literally one of the sweetest, most caring people I’d ever met and I barely even knew him.
“Rush, why did you leave the army?”
“How did you know I left?” I asked, completely caught off guard by the change of subject.
Christopher was staring at his bandaged hand. When he didn’t answer, I realized what the question was really about. He was feeling vulnerable and exposed. I’d just learned what likely amounted to the biggest secret he’d ever had, and he was undoubtedly terrified of what I would do with the information. No doubt he knew how many questions I had, and before I could ask them, he wanted to know if I was willing to expose my own jugular a bit.
“I was a coward,” I admitted.
Christopher’s head jerked in my direction. “I don’t believe that,” he said firmly.
I was silent for a moment as I acknowledged the warmth that had come from his instant defense of me. “A hundred people could tell me otherwise, but it only matters what I tell myself, you know?” I explained.
“Yeah,” Christopher responded solemnly. “I know.”
That comment would definitely need some following up.
“So you were afraid you were going to die,” Christopher murmured.
“Yes, but I think that’s pretty much a given for most people.”
“Then why did you call yourself a… that.”
The fact that he couldn’t refer to me as a coward in any way would have made me smile if the conversation wasn’t so serious to begin with.
“From the second you step off that bus for boot camp, you have to give yourself over entirely. The army becomes your mother and father, your unit your brothers. Orders don’t get questioned. Ever. Doesn’t matter if you know it’s some clueless bureaucrat handing them down or if command doesn’t have all of the intel or even the right intel… you get the order to pull that trigger or call in a drone strike or whatever, you do it. No questions asked. You have to assume whoever is giving you that command knows something you don’t. If they tell you a woman is carrying a bomb under her robes, you aren’t allowed to see the baby she’s carrying in her arms. You put a bullet through that kid’s brain to get to hers if that’s your only shot. You don’t worry about that kid hitting the ground headfirst when its mother drops from your kill shot. You pull the trigger.”
“Did that happen to you?” Christopher asked.
“No,” I said with a shake of the head. “But I saw it happen to a buddy. Only he didn’t pull the trigger like he was ordered to, and the woman detonated a bomb that killed over thirty people, including seven men from our unit and her own little girl. My buddy took his own life as soon as he returned stateside.”
“I’m sorry,” Christopher said softly. I could feel his eyes on me.
“I couldn’t do it,” I admitted. I was surprised by the emotion that came over me. “I couldn’t end one life without knowing in my gut that doing so would save another.”
“So you didn’t re-enlist,” Christopher offered. “You started working with Uncle King instead. Saving kids.”
I shot Christopher a glance. He’d turned in his seat a bit so he could look at me rather than through the windshield. His tousled dark blond hair made his skin look even paler, but there was no doubting he was completely engaged in the conversation. He really did want to know this stuff about me. I tried to ignore the sparks of excitement in my belly as I wondered what that meant.
“Rush?”
Christopher’s quiet, worried voice broke through my own confusing thoughts.
“Sorry,” I responded. “So you know about all that?”
“About the kids and what my family does for them?”
“Yeah.”
Christopher nodded. “It may have all started with Gio, but it didn’t end when he came home. There are too many other kids out there waiting for someone to come for them. There are too many terrified, desperate parents who are clinging to every last ounce of hope they have that they will see their child again.”