Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
“Oh, honey,” she says with a sigh, dropping down beside me and pulling me into her arms, the same way I’d done with Hazel. “Usually, I’d tell you to keep your head down and ignore nasty rumors, but you can’t ignore this, especially now that Linc isn’t here to defend himself. Speak up where you can. Don’t let people say nasty things about him. He was such a sweet boy. I couldn’t stand the thought of people talking ill about him.”
“It’s not Linc they’re saying bad things about. They’re suggesting Noah was the one who did it.”
“What?” she gasps.
“Yeah.”
She holds me even tighter. “I suppose Noah didn’t take that very well.”
“I wouldn’t know. He took one look at me this morning and acted as though I was dirt under his foot. He said he didn’t want anything to do with me, and if I see him in the hall, to walk the other way.”
Mom lets out a heavy sigh and rubs my back. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. That must have been hard.”
“It wasn’t my finest moment.”
“I bet.”
“He’s not the boy I used to know,” I murmur, my heart falling to pieces. “He’s different.”
Mom shakes her head. “You see, that’s where I think you’re wrong. The old Noah, the one we all know and love, is still in there screaming for someone to help him. He’s just lost his way, and I have to have faith that he will come back to us. Don’t give up on him, Zoey. I know it hurts, but he needs you now more than ever.”
“Why does it have to be me?” I say, tears brimming in my eyes. “He doesn’t want me around him. He pushed me away three years ago and left me. I had to heal all on my own, and now, seeing him at school, acting as though I never meant anything . . . It sucks. I can’t do it.”
Mom nods and peers over my head, and I see the moment she finds the photo of me in that hospital bed. She lets out a heavy sigh, no doubt remembering the pain of that time. “That little girl in that photo,” she says, adjusting my chin until I see the photo. “She beat all odds, which is how I know you can do this now. Noah might be keeping you at arm’s length, but he’s hurting, Zoey. He’s drowning in grief, and having him here at East View with you is the best thing that could have happened to him. He might not be able to see it, but I do. He needs you, and despite how much you deny it, I think you need him too.”
With that, Mom stands and squeezes my shoulder before walking to my door. She pauses and glances back at my photo, a sadness in her eyes. “You were such a fighter, Zoey. I know it can sometimes make you uncomfortable keeping this photo out on display like this, but I love it. Yes, it’s a reminder of the hell you suffered through, but it’s also a reminder of how hard you fought. You’re a survivor, Zoey, and that should always be celebrated.”
I give Mom a tight smile, unable to help glancing back at the photo, looking at the heavy, tired bags under my eyes and my sunken cheeks. I was as sick as anybody could ever be, but there was also such a bright light in my eyes, a fire that burned within me, and that fire pushed me to fight . . . that, and Noah.
He may not know it, but he saved me all those years ago and I’ll never forget it.
But Mom is right, he’s drowning in grief, and if he was able to give me the strength I needed to survive without even realizing it, then it’s only fair I do the same for him now.
9
Noah
Another fucking day at East View High. I wonder what fresh bullshit is in store for me today. I suppose it really wasn’t that bad yesterday, apart from the whole Zoey thing. If she wasn’t here, then I might even try to give this school a chance.
What other choice do I have? It’s this or nothing, and after the hell I’ve already put my mom through over the past few years, I can’t afford to slip any further. I know I’m hurting her, but I can’t seem to stop or pull my shit together and make the hurt go away.
Every fucking day without Linc only kills me more, and I feel myself slowly dying inside. It’s like the walls are caving in, and every breath I take turns me further into stone. It’s going to kill me, and then what? I’ll really be leaving Mom and Zoey. But at least the hurt would stop, and the darkness would fade, but what kind of hell would I be leaving behind?