Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
I look at my da, and he’s holding out his hands. I move slowly and carefully towards him one tiny step at a time. But the people are talking louder now. Chanting. The rules that the lady has been teaching us. They are chanting them over and over as I cross the beam.
And then something hits me in the arm. It hurts and surprises me. But I don’t take my attention off my da. It happens again on my leg, and this time I notice it’s a small stone. The people are throwing them at me.
I don’t understand. But the chanting is getting louder, and my hands are sticky. I’m halfway across the beam. And then something wet hits me in the face. It smells like fruit, only rotten. I try to wipe it from my eyes, but something hits me in the leg as I do. And that’s when I lose my balance.
The last thing that I see before I fall into the pit below is the disappointed expression on my da’s face. And he was right. Because even when the men come and carry me back to the room and tell me that my leg is broken, I never see him again.
***
Conor tries to accompany me to my house, but I tell him to stay put. I just want to be alone. He apologizes again, and I disregard him entirely.
The drive home is short and quiet. Not many people know I live on the same street as Crow. I’ve followed him all my life. Ever since he found me in that bloody massacre of a church so many years ago. The memories are blurry at times, but occasionally sharp too.
I walk up the steps to my door and am greeted by the dog. When I collapse onto the sofa, she jumps into my lap and whines as she nudges me. I don’t know what she wants. I wish she would leave me alone, but I can’t bring myself to push her away.
“I suppose ye’re hungry again,” I tell her.
She whines in agreement and then curls up on my lap. It’s odd that it doesn’t bother me. I’ve never been around an animal before. But I know she’d never try to hurt me. So it doesn’t bother me.
My head falls back against the chair and I think of Sasha. The horrific thing that I’ve done which I’ll never be able to wash away.
The blood of others has never troubled me. I kill to protect the syndicate. Crow, Conor, Niall. The men who have been loyal to me. My brethren. But I’ve never hurt a woman.
I never wanted to hurt Sasha.
She didn’t come to me. She didn’t trust me enough to protect her from Donovan. Or to tell me that he knew our secret. I’ve been out of sorts since I learned the truth. I wanted to fault her for it. Shake her and demand that she tell me why. She was supposed to trust me. To understand that I would take care of her.
But now I know. I know exactly why.
She’ll never trust me again.
Two days come and go with calls unanswered before Crow comes knocking at my door. He lets himself in and sits down across from me.
The dog is in my lap, and he looks at her and then to me with a stupid grin on his face.
“I’m not keeping her,” I tell him.
“Ah sure,” he agrees. “She’s awfully fond of you though.”
I set her down on the floor and tell her to go away. She sits down and rests her head on my foot instead.
“Ye’re needed back at the club,” Crow says. “We have a shipment tonight, in case you forgot.”
“I haven’t forgot,” I tell him.
“Could have fooled me,” he says. “Being as I haven’t heard from ye in two days.”
“I’ve been busy.”
Silence falls between us, and I can’t look at him. Crow knows me better than anyone. He doesn’t judge me. Or blame me. He’s always let me be who I am and never asked me to change. But I’m still ashamed for what I’ve done.
“She’s fine, if ye’re wondering,” he says. “Mack’s checked up on her twice, as have I.”
I don’t reply, but his words make the tension in my muscles dissolve just a bit. Even if they shouldn’t.
“Do ye believe it would be the end of the world if you just talked to her, Fitz?”
“And what exactly would I have to say?” I reply.
“The truth. She could understand it if you gave her a chance to.”
“I still don’t understand it myself,” I tell him. “How can ye expect me to explain it to her.”
“Or that’s what ye like to say anyway,” Crow says. “Suit yourself.”
He stands and walks towards the door.
“Six tonight,” he says. “Don’t be late.”
I nod, and he pauses with his palm on the handle. “I guess it also won’t interest ye to know that Sasha wants to leave when her mom passes.”