Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
I side-eyed him and felt something slow down within me. His voice alone was soothing. I liked to focus on his calm. There was something about him. Despite the insignificant things that could frustrate me if I was already stressed out, Ty was a man who came off as very composed and…simply like he had his shit together.
“So it got me thinkin’.” He took a bite from the pear and chewed unhurriedly. “Is my boy like that? Is he worryin’ about somethin’ I don’t even see yet because his brain is wired to predict the next possible disaster?”
A breath gusted out of me, and I felt a ball of emotions unravel inside my chest.
“You have a choice here, Lane. You can say everythin’s fine. You can tell me it’s nothin’, just some work stress or maybe you’re a bit tired.” He paused and took another bite. “Or you can help me understand. You can tell me what’s botherin’ you so much that you can’t stand the mere existence of your cuticles. Do you have any left?”
I croaked a laugh, and the levees sort of broke. My vision blurred, my stomach twisted, and a sharp pain radiated throughout my chest, though not necessarily only in a bad way. Even when a broken dam threatened to flood a nearby town, the pressure releasing allowed me to breathe easier.
I sniffled and wiped my eyes before the tears could fall. “You seem to have a good understanding already. I’m…” I had to clear my throat. “I guess I don’t feel settled yet.”
“Like you’re waitin’ for the other shoe to drop?”
I shook my head. That wasn’t it. I took a somewhat steadying breath and gathered my thoughts. Because no, I didn’t have a choice. If I wanted a future with Ty, honesty was the only way.
Here goes the crazy. “Basically, I’m sitting here going freaking apeshit at your messy eating because I don’t know your thoughts on marriage, if you wanna have more kids, if you one day wanna live together, if you being so flexible can accept that I’m anything but—except for the spontaneous trip to your house in Florida,” I added quickly, because that was important. His place down south was literally my dream location on earth. But that was pretty much it. “Like, will you get frustrated—”
“Lemme stop you right there,” he said. “Before I forget the first two hundred questions.” His quick, affectionate smirk let me know he was joking. “I’m not sure I have any thoughts on marriage. I grew up without a dad, my grandparents split up early, it was never for Savannah and me, and for the longest time, I only had time for Marina and work.” He stuck the pear into his mouth and dug out a plastic bag from under his seat, all while never taking his gaze off the road. Then he finished his fruit in three quick bites before disposing of the core. “But I don’t have anythin’ against the idea either. So I’ll leave it at, I’m open to it. Kids, on the other hand…?” He winced and chuckled. “You’d have to be really insistent on havin’ kids if you want me on board.”
God, I wasn’t. I actually liked children very much, but I had zero desire to become a parent.
“I’ve never told Marina this, but we had abortion on the table when we found out Savannah was pregnant,” Ty admitted. “Her parents insisted on it. My mother was on the fence. Savannah went back and forth, primarily, I suspect, because of her folks. But I told her I couldn’t. I mean, it wasn’t up to me in the end, but I still had to throw my attachment in the mix. Yeah, it was inconvenient, worst timing imaginable, but there we were. I fell head over heels for that little shit, long before she was born. And I think Savannah was relieved I took that first step. Her parents were… Fuck, that’s another story.”
I smiled and just watched him.
“My point is, I’d rather not go down that road again,” he said carefully, “but if we do, I’ll be all in.”
He really was an amazing dad. I saw his love for Marina all over their house. I heard it in his joking manner, like how he bitched and complained, when in reality, he was just worried and missing her.
“I don’t want kids of my own,” I murmured. To his instant relief. It made me grin. “I’d rather look forward to introducing your grandbaby to reptiles—and Corey’s future kids to firecrackers and itching powder.”
Ty laughed softly. “I like that plan.”
The relief began hitting me too.
“I do wanna live together someday, though.” He reached across the console and grabbed my hand. I was quick to squeeze his.
“Me too.”
“Good. What else was there? Somethin’ about flexibility. Bein’ able to fuck off from work here and there—or work remotely from Florida—is really all the flexibility that matters a lot to me. But even that wouldn’t have been a deal-breaker, Lane. I have obligations and responsibilities too. I can’t go whenever. I’m usually pretty tired when I get home at the end of the day, so my adventuristic suggestions probably won’t be more exciting than, let’s swing by the reptile place and pick up some isopods. Possibly Chipotle if I’m too tired to cook.”