Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
His words nearly knocked me off the log. “No,” I said with a shake of my head. “No, my family—”
“Your family taught me a lot of things I didn’t know, like what it actually meant to be a family. I could go on and on about what being with you, Sully, and your father meant to me all these years, but we’d be sitting here all day.”
“But I didn’t do anything special—”
“Yes, you did. You just didn’t know it,” Cass interrupted. “You gave me strength and courage, JJ. I know you and your brother didn’t have it easy when you were kids. Losing your mom, your dad needing to work so hard to make ends meet. But from the first time I met you, you were so different from anything I’d ever known. You were stubborn, determined, loyal, kind, and so full of hope…”
Cass paused for a moment. He dropped his eyes to look at his hands. I couldn’t take mine off him. Every word he’d said was the truth. I’d seen that in his eyes as he’d held my gaze. I’d heard it in his voice. He wasn’t telling me some anecdote just to amuse me.
He was really telling me the truth.
“Your brother and I, we were close,” Cass continued. “But we were at an age where guys just didn’t talk about that stuff with each other. I think he knew some of the things I felt, but neither of us ever brought it up. You, though… you were different. You were like this reflection of the kid I’d always wanted to be. I’d given up on all those things by the time I was fifteen and met you guys. My life had already been planned out for me. I was an Ashby. I had the best of everything when I was growing up. It had always seemed like the perfect childhood.” Cass fell silent for a long time. I wanted to touch him in some way, to remind him I was still there, but I didn’t want to risk him clamming up.
He eventually let out a light chuckle that held no humor in it at all. “Money and power. Power and money. The Ashby way. And it’s all yours for the low, low price of your soul,” Cass mocked as he spoke like he was a salesman doing a commercial. He paused for a few moments and stared at the dense tangle of trees and underbrush in front of us.
“I was all set to buy in and then, out of nowhere, a man with an accent so thick I rarely understood what he was saying and his two sons—one a hard-ass who didn’t take shit from anyone and the other who only saw the good in people—showed me that real family didn’t come with a price tag. I doubt you even remember, but you were the one who told me I could choose any path I wanted. I think you were around ten. We were sitting at that old picnic table in your backyard. Sully was making lunch inside the house. Somehow, we got onto the subject of what I was going to do after I graduated. I couldn’t give you an answer. I guess I didn’t want to because then I’d have to face up to what my future held for me. You started listing off all these things I could do with my life. The stuff you were suggesting was real, too, not just a kid’s fantasy. You told me I had a choice, and you knew I was strong enough to make it. Every time I saw you after that, you’d find some way to remind me of that.” Cass smiled. “I had a choice.”
He turned so he was looking at me. “You, James Joyce Ferguson, were the one who saved me without even trying.”
I was so taken aback that I didn’t know what to say. The man had rendered me completely speechless. I couldn’t even remember what we’d been talking about before he’d blindsided me with his admission. I did remember that day. He’d seemed so lost. I didn’t recall what exactly I’d said to him, but I did remember how scared I’d been for him after that day.
“At that point it was hero worship, but as I got older, I was crushing on you hard,” I blurted.
Holy shit, had I really just said that? I shook my head in disbelief. I could feel the heat building beneath my skin. I opened my mouth to try and come up with some joke to get us past my outburst but the only thing that came out was, “Hard.”
Cass lifted his eyebrows at the word. He had a cat who caught the canary smile on his face.
“Not hard like hard hard. Hard,” I continued. My cheeks and neck felt like they were on fire.