Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
She has yet to mention her nighttime hobby. Dumpster diving, that is. She would never reveal her other nighttime activities of being a member of our elite club. It’s against the rules of Club Alias to speak about it to just anyone. So I haven’t wasted time even awaiting a message that included something about that. But her “treasure hunting”? She hasn’t said one word about it, and since she’s revealed a lot about herself, including her love of gardening and going off on adorable tangents about different plants, for it to not be mentioned tells me it’s not something she wants me to know about.
And the only real reason she wouldn’t want me to know is she’s embarrassed, maybe ashamed even, since a lot of people would draw parallels between dumpster diving and being poor, or homeless, or even just desperate. It would take an explanation for them to understand she does it more as a “fuck you” to “the man.” She does it because her principles drive her compulsions. And with her disorder causing her to hyperfixate on whatever she’s feeling compelled to do, her dumpster diving has become even more to her than just rescuing healthy plants from the garbage.
It’s now become a part of her. She probably believes each one of those plants is her in some way, and if she has the form of OCD that includes rituals—God, my poor little one. In her head, she could possibly be telling herself that if she doesn’t rescue the plants, something bad will happen to her. Add in the intrusive thoughts on repeat, and no wonder her sleep schedule has been fucked to hell and back. She can’t sleep at night, because that’s when she can dumpster dive. If she doesn’t dumpster dive, something bad will happen to her. This makes her so tired that she has to sleep most of the day, which leaves no time for anything else.
No time to work.
No time to eat or work out.
No time nor energy to even worry about hygiene and self-care.
So it’s a secret she wants to keep from me, and that’s perfectly fine. Because as long as it’s a secret, she gets to show me the real her that’s not fixated on her obsession. She gets to pretend it doesn’t exist and finds other things to focus on and talk about with me. Which is therapeutic for her as well, since she’s not fixating on it. I’ve interrupted that loop, which she desperately needed.
So although I feel a tinge of discomfort for not correcting her when she says anything about us meeting in person “for the first time,” I feel it would hurt her more if I revealed the truth at this stage, when she’s gaining so much more by not knowing.
The rest of our conversation this morning takes place between my sets on the different chest and triceps machines, giving me a reason to power through every rep so I can read her reply that never fails to come.
RomanticSadistLL: Stage 5 isn’t even close to the level I WANT you to be, little one.
RomanticSadistLL: Not expecting your address, so let's go with… how far from the gym do you live? In minutes.
RomanticSadistLL: And the app says your 3 miles away right now. Where are you?
WillDive4Plants: LOL seeing as you have my real name and links from my TikToks I sent you, where you can clearly see everywhere I go around town, I think it's safe to say you could easily find me if you really wanted to. I live in the neighborhood by the lake. It’s the only lake around here, so you know where, I’m sure.
WillDive4Plants: It takes me nine minutes to get to the gym, since they opened that sweet little shortcut
RomanticSadistLL: I'm in the neighborhood off that “sweet little shortcut.” So not far at all. Accurate enough, to answer your question.
RomanticSadistLL: I'm at the gym right now though.
WillDive4Plants: Just got here!
RomanticSadistLL: Friendly face-to-face? I'll behave.
WillDive4Plants: I'm so glad you said that. I was trying to get up the courage to ask. 😅
WillDive4Plants: I have some questions for my book, and I can't find anything but stupid fuck-boys in my search for someone to interview. You're literally the only person that doesn't give me the ick 🤣
RomanticSadistLL: Courage to ask me to behave?
RomanticSadistLL: Told you, has to be consensual unless CNC is agreed upon, then different rules. No matter what we state our kinks are, people are people and deserve respect. Unless we RESPECTFULLY change the rules based on agreement.
RomanticSadistLL: I mean, I still want you, will continue to ask you, might even test the waters and tempt you into changing your mind… but will always respect your boundaries.
RomanticSadistLL: Until it's time not to 😈
WillDive4Plants: I
WillDive4Plants: I just meant… the courage to ask you for a friendly meet… where you’d behave 🤣