Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
WillDive4Plants: Right?! As much as we pay for that place, you’d think they could at least provide ample enough electricity😜
I’m paged for another patient, and by the time I get in my truck to go home and check her messages, the last one she sent an hour ago says she was going to get some sleep.
Pride fills me. Asleep before one in the morning? That’s a big deal for the little sub. Writing all day, conversing with me, getting out of the house where she can’t so easily lie down for a nap, her circadian rhythm might finally be on the mend without me even putting that much effort into it. I haven’t even had to resort to slipping in tiny assignments, tasks for her to complete at random in order to keep her stimulated during the day to stay awake and for me to enjoy her unhesitant obedience. I have many in my pocket to pull out whenever the urge hits me.
A selfie wherever she happens to be at that moment—if she’s lying down, nodding off, it would influence her to get up and moving again. She wouldn’t want me to see her being unproductive. It goes against her entire personality.
A photo of what she’s eating for lunch—it would force her to grab some food when I know sometimes she forgets to eat or doesn’t bother because her medications kill her appetite.
A question that seems out of curiosity but actually has a purpose. Like “What brand of body wash do you use? I’m at the store and want to smell it, so I can pretend I’m inhaling you.” If she doesn’t know off the top of her head, she’d hurry to her bathroom to either read or take a picture of the label to send to me. And with the thought I put into her head about me inhaling her, it would encourage her to take the shower she hadn’t felt the energy to before.
My suspicion the night I fixed up her hand has been confirmed several times over the last week. The little sub has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder along with her ADHD, and I’m entirely certain she’s been in a depressive episode that’s lasted quite some time.
The next morning, I throw on my workout clothes and head to the gym. I’m just pulling into a parking spot when my phone dings with a notification. And then another, and another, and another, and I chuckle, knowing without looking they’re messages and exactly who they’re from.
The little sub has arisen.
WillDive4Plants: So I had a dream last night that made something occur to me. How accurate is that little app I found you on? As far as location/distance? Because it definitely said you were only two miles away… while I was sitting in my living room. As in at home.
WillDive4Plants: Which would be a whole new plot bunny in itself if the hero she meets on the site happens to live in her neighborhood. Could you imagine? 😅
WillDive4Plants: Holy shit. Like… what if they kept passing each other every day and had no idea they were RIGHT THERE all along? I mean, I saw you a lot at the gym. But if you’ve been one of my neighbors all this time… not gonna lie, it’d kinda make me sad. Because it’s almost like I could’ve known you all this time and missed out.
WillDive4Plants: Sorry. Went a little Stage 5 Clinger on you there. I guess I’m just bummed I could’ve had a like-minded friend to talk to when I was alone all that time.
My gut clenches at her opening up and being vulnerable with me, feeling similar to what she probably does when she receives praise. It’s like a reward, deeply touched by the trust she’s giving me. I also feel… something I’m not very familiar with when it comes to empathy. While I know I experience guilt when I hurt someone’s feelings with my seemingly careless words, I’ve never truly understood what people meant by the term “lying by omission.” It doesn’t compute in my head how you are telling someone a lie, if you aren’t voicing anything. I’ve always chalked it up to one of those illogical societal norms my disorder will never let me grasp.
But for some reason, in this moment, I feel… uncomfortable? With the fact that she doesn’t know I saw her long before we met on the app. Yet telling her could possibly change things, and I don’t want that to happen. What’s happening between us feels right, tantalizing our minds with the possibility of there being incredible chemistry once we meet in person.
Maybe that’s it though.
I already know there’s incredible chemistry between us when we’re in each other’s physical presence. My persistence comes from wanting to feel it again, knowing it’s there and craving more of it. She, on the other hand, is still working up the courage for what she believes will be our first time meeting face-to-face. But until that happens, I’m getting to know a side of her that’s most likely more carefree and unembarrassed to tell me her random “squirrel thoughts” as she calls them, than if she were to know I was the one who caught her in a dumpster.