Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 245(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
I read through comments for a few more minutes, and then I come across the TikTok I made about a St. Andrew’s cross before the one I sent him earlier, and I snort. “What are the odds?” I copy the link and send it to him.
WillDive4Plants: Of all the things in the universe you could’ve posted a picture of on your profile, it just so happened to be this little contraption I said just a week and half ago that I’d love to try out.
“That was pretty flirty, right?” I scratch the back of my head, my broken nails getting caught in the strands.
RomanticSadistLL: Yes, you and I should definitely play.
“Psh!” The unladylike noise leaves my mouth as I pull a hair out of my nail that got yanked out of my messy bun. “You say that, but if you were to see what’s on the other end of the phone at the moment, you’d never trust online dating ever again, good sir.” But I don’t text that. I still have a little time I can attempt to get my life together. I mean, I could definitely summon the energy to shower at some point.
WillDive4Plants: Well, hope you weren't just trying to be nice when you said that about a hot intelligent friend before, because you're talking to a chick who is terrified to even heart your profile. I'll probably hide if I ever see you at the gym again. I'm only brave on TikTok and in my books until I get to know someone.
RomanticSadistLL: LOL not kidding. Intelligence seems so rare these days. It would be a shame to end it already just because you're not interested physically.
“He’s gotta be shitting me.” Does he really think I have no desire to—
WillDive4Plants: There’s a very big difference between “not interested” and “I am a giant pussy” 😂
Please take the reins. Please take the reins. Please take the reins.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it would be stupid of me to try to keep him at bay when that’s the last thing I actually want. I wasn’t playing hard to get before; I was trying to protect myself. But how will I know he won’t hurt me if I don’t open myself up enough to let him prove he won’t?
But as a submissive through and through, it goes against every fiber of my being to assert myself in a way that would come off… bold. So from this point forward, I decide to make it known in my replies that I’m open to more than just talking about book research. We can still go slow. Like he said, mind before body. But I feel like if I keep my walls super high and reinforced so he only gets to peek in through a window, I’ll lose my chance.
And I know if someone heard me say that out loud, I would be scolded, called a doormat and other lovely names that mean I’m weak. They’d tell me that if a man isn’t willing to work hard to get to know me and earn my trust and attention, then they don’t deserve me.
But in my mind, how the hell would he know I’m worth all the hard work if I don’t let him see that? If I don’t let him see what he’d be missing out on, then what would be his incentive to try winning it?
RomanticSadistLL: If you're interested, then that means I still have a chance😉 And who knows? I may end up being too boring for you.
That actually makes me laugh out loud. So loud it startles Kronk and he makes his little chirpy sound that means he’s annoyed.
“Sorry, kitty boy. This man really said he might be too boring for me. Of course, he has no idea boring would be welcome in comparison to what my last partner needed in bed,” I murmur, and when I look back at what my fingers typed and sent without my permission, I groan and follow it up with another message.
WillDive4Plants: I've seen your muscles in action. There's no way in hell you could ever be boring.
WillDive4Plants: FML I said that out loud.
CHAPTER
TEN
FELIX
This little sub has cast a spell on me. If I hadn’t been sure before—listening to her from outside the dumpster—of just how vulnerable she is, how fragile her grip on normality is, then in the past week I’ve spent texting with her throughout the day would’ve confirmed it. It makes every single part of my very being want to protect her at all costs, to surround her and keep her safe.
But at the same time, I also want to be the one who breaks her. I want her to lose her death grip on what she thinks she should be, so I can awaken what I know she truly is inside.