Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
“What are you thinking, darlin’?”
“That you’re amazing and I can’t believe you’re mine. I remember when all we did was squabble. You used to drive me crazy. Now, I can’t see my life without you.”
He swallows hard as if trying to swallow down his emotions. His eyes are suspiciously moist as he searches my face with his gaze. Again, I get the feeling that something’s wrong.
“Talk to me, Trev,” I whisper.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I move closer to him and place my hands on his bare chest now that his shirt buttons are sitting open. He wraps his arms around me almost protectively.
“For darn near my entire life, it’s been ingrained in me to keep you safe. To look after you. Then, I started to love you as more than my daddy’s best friend’s daughter and that need to protect you became something I felt in my bones.”
He pauses and swallows deeply, his Adams apple bobbing. Placing his forehead against mine, he continues. “I’ve failed you. I allowed my temper to get in the way of doing the one job I had. In trying to be the man I wanted to be in life, I was manipulated into a life that shouldn’t have been mine.
“I wanted to be a good man with you, but I was turned into a bitter man without you. I almost lost control tonight, but the thought of losing you or leaving you without me again caused me to get myself in check.”
“Trev, is everything all right?”
“It will be.” He lifts a hand to cup my face. “My question is, are you okay? I’ve told you all about my life while you were gone, but I don’t think you’ve told me everything that has happened to you.”
I gasp and step back. He knows. I furrow my brows wondering how.
“Cody,” I breathe. “Why would he tell you about that?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” he says the words sincerely.
Not with any bite or anger, but with curiosity and concern. As he looks me deep in the eyes, I can see he wants to protect me and understand. I’m not sure how I feel about Trevor knowing.
After being able to allow myself to be intimate with him, I have pushed the incident to the back of my mind. Now, as I stand here, my brain begins to unpack my feelings so quickly, my knees almost give.
However, Trevor is right there to catch me. He lifts me into his arms and carries me over to the chair I had been eyeing earlier. Taking a seat with me in his lap, he lifts my face so I’m looking at him.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. I just need to know you’re okay,” he says.
I lower my gaze. “I thought I was. It’s not something I talk about. I mean, I wasn’t okay for a long time. I didn’t trust men, and I couldn’t date or try to be intimate.
“I … I had been missing you, and I called. I wanted to know why you felt the need to send me that letter.
“I thought maybe we could be friends if nothing else. I didn’t understand why you would say those things. When I called, she answered. I was devastated.”
I don’t realize tears are pouring down my face until Trev begins to wipe them away with his thumbs. I take a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. I want to tell him, I want to help us both understand why I haven’t told him.
I blow out a breath and continue. “I figured that was all the answer I needed. From that day, I knew I would never contact you again. You were married. You didn’t want me.”
“That was a lie. I wanted you. I just didn’t know you still wanted me. I thought I was doing the honorable thing.
“I let you go because I thought you were happy. Your happiness always comes first, even if it hurts. I wanted you so bad, baby.”
“I know that now. That day when she answered saying she was Mrs. Monroe, I didn’t. I went to that party with those thoughts still in my head.
“I wanted to show you I didn’t need you. I could find new friends. I would find someone who did want me.
“Only, what I found was trouble. If that champagne hadn’t been so nasty and I had consumed the entire glass, I probably would be telling you a different story. However, I only had a sip and spit most of it back in the glass.
“It all happened so fast. The thought of him taking something from me I’d only given to you snapped the fight back into me. I remembered who I was and what I’m capable of and fought my way free.
“Then I ran like hell.” I scoff. “I ran right out my shoes, but I didn’t care. I kept running until I got home. I sat rocking and sobbing until Cody and Elise found me.