Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 68006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
“Oh, baby, my poor baby…”
“Brindley…”
“Brindley knows how sorry you are, Kelly. Wherever she is now, she knows. I promise you.”
“But —”
“Don’t you dare tell me again that this is your fault. It’s not.”
“I want to believe that, Leif. I want to believe it so much.”
“Then believe it. And believe that I love you, Kelly. And I swear to you, no one will harm you on my watch.”
I fall against him then, and I let go.
All those tears that I’ve been holding back come in abundance, and I cry into Leif’s shoulder. All the while he smooths my hair, soothes me, whispers to me how much he loves me.
And I cry…
I cry for the little girl in the closet who thought it was what she deserved.
I cry for the grown woman being held by Leif Ramsey who still thinks it’s what she deserves.
I love you.
Leif said those words to me. Is saying those words to me.
And I want to say them back. I want to mean them. But I don’t even know what love is. Is it the flutters in my tummy when I see Leif? Is it the jealousy I feel when I think of him with another woman? Is it the longing I feel when he’s not with me? Is it the passion and desire I feel when we have sex? Or is it the pure comfort and nurturing I feel in his arms right now?
And it dawns on me, as if I’ve known it this whole time.
It’s all those things.
Every single one and infinitely more.
It’s…love.
I love this man. I love Leif Ramsey. I don’t ever want to let him go.
12
LEIF
My God, I love this woman. I would gladly give my life for this woman. She’s beautiful, intelligent, and so full of spirit. Yet she’s insecure, still that scared little girl in many ways.
She’s all that matters to me. I love her, and I’m never letting her go.
She cries into my shoulder, sometimes mumbling something unintelligible, but more often than not simply sobbing.
I will hold her for as long as it takes, I will protect her from anything that means her harm, and I will be at her side in the morning at her interview with the police.
I will protect her at all costs.
I hold her, caress her back, her arms, the top of her head.
For as long as she needs, I will hold her. Time passes—minutes, I don’t know how many—until she finally pulls back a bit, her nose and eyes swollen and red, her cheeks stained from her tears.
“My baby…” I touch her cheek.
“Do you mean it, Leif? When you say you love me?”
“With all my heart.”
“Are we together? Again? Were we ever?”
“If you want to be. If you don’t want to be, that’s okay too. I’ll love you no matter what.”
She bites her lip. “I want to say it back.”
Emotion coils in my belly. I feel like a schoolboy again. But I remain calm. “You don’t have to. Only if you feel it, Kelly. And if you don’t, I’ll survive.”
“But I do feel it.” She rubs her eyes “At least, I think I do. I feel something I’ve never felt before, Leif. And it’s… It’s so many things. It’s wonderful, yet it almost hurts. It’s an ache. A yearning ache.”
I smile. Because even though the events of tonight have been horrific, and I know we will be dealing with them for weeks to come, Kelly’s description of what she feels for me touches my soul.
“That’s love,” I say.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure because it sounds an awful lot like what I feel for you, Kelly.”
“Have you felt it before?”
“To a lesser degree, yes.”
She tenses.
“Most people feel love for others before they find the one,” I say.
“I haven’t.”
“I know you haven’t, baby. I’m so sorry you didn’t get that chance. But I love you, Kelly.” I cup both her cheeks, almost gripping them, so that her lips smash together vertically. “I love you so much, and I don’t care how long I have to wait for you to be ready to receive my love. I’ll wait two years or twenty years, because I know in my heart that there is no one in the world for me except you.”
A squeak comes from her throat.
“I mean it, baby. You’re my forever.”
“I love you,” she says on a sigh. “If what I’m feeling is love, then I love you too, Leif.”
My heart flies. Soars right out of my chest and into her, and I swear our two beating hearts become one.
I lower my mouth to hers, kiss her gently.
But gentle isn’t what’s on her mind. She parts her lips and probes into my mouth with her tongue.
I open for her, and this kiss…
To say it’s one of passion would be an understatement. To say it’s raw and primal isn’t enough either.