Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 74643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
I've always backed up my work. I'm the greatest asset this firm could have and they know it. They are just using this moment to force me into submission, and I will not have it.
"I see," I say, feeling my cheeks flush with rage. "I see how this is. I'm one of the dumb girls you have around the office for your pleasure. It’s all so clear to me now.
“I've been mistaken this whole time. I thought maybe we had something deeper, something more real. It's apparent to me now that I'm just another woman in a revolving door of women. How could I have been so stupid?"
Adam leans in to comfort me, but I push him away. I don't need him, and I don't need any of them. He's trying to provide reassurance, but I look behind him and see that Cameron and Chase are standing strong about what they just told me.
"Nicole," Cameron says. "I'm sorry that you see it that way. But that's really not what we're after. I just want to see that you can dedicate yourself to something fully."
"Yes," Chase says. "You would have to execute the King case perfectly. How can you expect us to give that to you, when you can't even carry out a relationship that you know in your heart you want?"
"As much as I hate to say it, Nicole," Adam says, backtracking suddenly. "We need to know that we can trust you the same way that you can trust us."
Tears are forming in my eyes, and yet I'm determined not to let them see me cry. I don't know what they're saying and how one thing can relate to the other. I get up and storm out of the office without another word.
They don't deserve me. They don't deserve any part of me.
I rush through the office and pound on the elevator button. Open, open, open. Secretly, in my heart, I'm hoping that one or all of them find me and beg me to come back.
The thing is, I know I've made a mistake. Storming out like that was a big mistake. I might've just lost my job and the most important relationships of my entire life. What was I thinking?
Once inside the elevator, I let the hot tears roll down my face. I feel humiliated and I don't know why. I thought this day was gonna go in a totally different direction. I thought Cameron was calling me into his office to give me the King case. I deserve it. I know I deserve it.
But now I'm a hot mess, and I can't get out of here fast enough.
I call a cab, and I'm downtown almost instantly. The familiar yellow cab and the fact that I'm almost home should calm me down, but my head is swirling, and suddenly I'm not sure if home is where I'm meant to be.
I am unsure of my place in the world at large. The guys in this meeting have me questioning my professional and personal goals. Somehow they've become enmeshed, entwined, and I'm not sure how to get out.
Do I want to get out?
The walls cave-in as I feel like maybe I've really screwed up and now this mess can’t ever be fixed. What if I've lost them forever? What have I done?
As much as the thought of them leaving me scares me, the thought of trusting someone again terrifies me even more. This is my problem. I don't know why I can't leave the past in the past.
I don't know why having my heart ruined once has made me so sorely adverse to love.
Is this even love? Have I lost the greatest loves of my life?
There's only one place to go, and it's not home. I give the driver the address to Lily's house. She now lives in Sebastian's penthouse.
I guess it's her penthouse now, since they’ve gotten married. I know Lily will understand, and I know she's the one person I can rely on to give me the objective truth about the situation.
I look out the window solemnly and watch the city life rush by without me. I am paralyzed in time until I can figure out what's just happened and if I have, in fact, ruined my life forever.
My happiness hangs in the balance. And I can't believe I might've lost everything because of one rash mistake, because of one moody response to an otherwise glorious request.
I think about what I'm going to tell Lily. There are no words to describe the mess I've made. All I know is I need a friend and that she'll be there, like always.
I feel a sick, nauseous feeling in my stomach as the truth sets in. I think I've lost everything, and there's no way to reclaim that. If only I could turn back the tides of time and redo this day.