Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“You being with her doesn’t make me feel insecure, Nathan. Lying to me about the reason you did it, does.”
He stares at me, clearly lost for words.
I walk past him and go into the bathroom where I lock the door. The lump in my throat hurts as I try to hold it together. I just want to howl to the moon.
I tear my dress off, and through tears, I wrangle myself out of this dumb corset. And to think I’ve been hanging off his every word tonight, and all the while, he was probably making eye contact across the room with her. Their dirty little secret.
I feel so stupid.
I was so swept away with his admission of love in the beginning. I knew that he went to her, and I knew I didn’t like it back then, but to know it was with a friend of his—someone he talks to regularly, and a colleague he respects. Someone he sees every day at work. Another female friend.
He would care about her, just like he does me……Oh, this hurts.
I get under the hot water and let myself go, I screw up my face in pain as the tears roll down my face.
Betrayal tastes bitter…especially when you don’t expect it.
That was the last thing I expected to come out of tonight…. but I guess, at least now I know.
I get out of the shower an hour later. I sit on the floor and cry like a baby for way too long. I’m being over dramatic, I know, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I wrap my hair in a towel and put my nightdress on. I brush my teeth and make my way into the bedroom.
Nathan’s bedside lamp is on, and he lies on his back in the semi darkness, wide awake and waiting for me. His fingers are linked on his chest.
I get into bed and turn my back on him.
He snuggles up close to me and takes me in his arms. “I love you,” he whispers against my temple. “You know that, don’t you?”
I don’t answer him as I stare at a wall. I don’t have any fight left in me. I’m too tired. I don’t want to think about this shit any more.
And with Nathan clinging to me for dear life, I close my eyes and let myself drift off into sleep as the sad realization sets in: the man I love isn’t who I thought he was.
He thinks like a man.
* * *
I wake to the gentle dusting of kisses over my shoulder. My heavy eyelids flutter as they battle waking up.
“Hi.” Nathan says softly. He kisses my shoulder again.
“Hi.” I sigh, disappointed that I didn’t have a bad dream last night. It was real. I roll over to face him.
An over dramatic reaction, but a real one, just the same.
We stare at each other. I drag my eyes down to the sheets, I’m still annoyed with him.
“I’m sorry, Eliza.
“For what?”
“I should have told you that I knew her.”
“You should have. Do you have any idea how stupid I felt when she introduced herself to me?”
He presses his lips together but stays silent. I run my fingers through the hairs on his chest as I think.
“What do you want to know?” he asks. My eyes hold his. “Ask me anything about that night, and I’ll answer you honestly and truthfully. I promise.”
I focus on the hair on his chest as I run the backs of my fingers back and forth.
“Lize,” he says softly as he puts his finger under my chin, bringing my face to his. “You wanted to talk about this last night, so let’s talk about it.”
I press my lips together, unsure what to say without sounding whiny. I hate jealous insecure girls, and here I am being a queen one.
“Talk to me…”
“I feel betrayed,” I whisper.
“Why?”
“Because you say you cared for me and you went to another female friend for sexual favors. How can I not be upset? It feels like you cheated on me.”
He exhales heavily as if frustrated. “Imagine if the role was reversed, Nathan. You are going ballistic about me going on a work conference with Henry. Imagine if I told you that I have feelings for you but I went to Henry for sexual satisfaction.”
His eyes become murderous. “Don’t even fucking say that.”
I shrug. “That’s how it feels.”
“You and I weren’t together at that stage.”
“So why did you tell me that you didn’t know her?”
“I told you I knew her.”
“Not as well as you do.”
“Because she’s irrelevant to our story.”
“Not to me.”
He stays silent as his eyes hold mine.
“Tell me what happened that night with her.”
“I don’t want that shit in your head, babe.” He sighs sadly as he pushes the hair back from my face. “Why would you want to know that?”