Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 472(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 472(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
After turning it over and over in my brain, I finally caved and looked for a second opinion.
“You slept with who?” my little brother Titus asked, staring at me from across the kitchen.
“Esther.”
“Esther Allen?” he asked, his eyes still so wide they looked like they were going to pop out of his head.
“Do you know any other Esthers?” I barked, guilt riding me hard as he gaped like a fish. I knew I was an asshole. I didn’t need him acting like I was the devil himself.
“What?” he asked faintly. “When? How? Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“She’s just not your usual type,” Titus said defensively. “With the skirts, and the—” He gestured toward his chest and head. “She doesn’t even wear makeup!”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m pretty sure she’s not even allowed to talk to guys,” he snapped incredulously.
“She talked to me.”
“Obviously,” he muttered nastily. “Jesus, Otto. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I was drunk.”
“In the words of our mother, drinking is never an excuse to behave like a dickhead.”
“She was as into it as I was.”
“Was she drinking?” he ground out accusingly through his teeth.
“No! Fuck no.”
“That’s good at least.” He scrubbed his hands over his face.
We stood there staring at each other.
“Oh fuck,” he said with a little laugh, looking down at the floor. “I get it.”
“Get what?”
“It was her fuckin’ hair wasn’t it?”
I glared.
“Was it down? I’ve seen that bun. It has to reach her waist at least.”
“Her ass, actually,” I murmured.
“Yeah, that tracks.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “God, you’re a freak.”
“Shut up.”
“So what now, Otto?” he asked, ignoring my question. “You want my advice or somethin’? Cause I gotta say, I have no fuckin’ clue what you should do. Ignore her for the rest of time, probably.”
“And you say I’m the dickhead?” I asked incredulously.
“What’s the other option? Go talk to her?”
“I tried that,” I confessed, heat burning up my neck. “She blew me off.”
“Well, there you go,” he shot back. “Leave it.”
“I just wanna make sure everythin’ is good with her,” I said with a sigh. “The way we left it was—” I shook my head, not sure how to explain it. Something felt really off and I couldn’t put my finger on why that was.
“Yeah, her family’s gonna be real excited about you comin’ around. Why not just add fuel to the fire? Good thinkin’.”
“You think they know?”
“They will if you show up at her house.”
“You know where she lives?” I asked, jerking my head up to look at him.
Titus glared at me. “In no universe would you showing up at her house be a good fuckin’ idea.”
“I didn’t say I was goin’ to.” The words came out more defensively than intended.
“Fuck,” he said under his breath, shaking his head. “Jesus.”
“Would you fuckin’ stop?”
“You realize how bad this could be for her if they find out?” He pointed at me accusingly. “Like apocalyptically bad. That family is fuckin’ nuts man.”
“Yeah, I know, they’re strict Christians,” I replied slowly.
“No. No. Not the kind you’re thinkin’ of. They might say they’re Christians, but this is a group that’s so far outside the normal religion I’m not even sure why they say they’re the same thing. Christians believe in Jesus. These people—” He shook his head. “It’s a fuckin’ cult, no matter how you look at it. Calgary Church.” He scoffed. “Surprising that they even let their kids go to public school, honestly.”
“Fuck.” My stomach sank. Did I know that Esther’s family was weird? Yes. But by Titus’s tone, they were more than that.
“Yeah, fuck.”
“Well, what should I do?” I asked, a small starburst of panic lighting in my chest. “What if they find out?”
The thought of her getting into trouble because she’d slept with me made my stomach gurgle alarmingly. Esther was so sweet. I’d thought so even before we’d seen each other at the bonfire. We’d never interacted, but I’d been in her vicinity enough to know what kind of person she was. Soft spoken. Kind. She’d never say a bad word about anyone.
“Her family owns a nursery,” Titus said after a minute. “Maybe you could try and go there. See if maybe she’s workin’. Make sure she’s okay.”
“I already did that,” I pointed out. “She was freaked the fuck out.”
“Then I’ll advise you again to leave her the fuck alone,” Titus replied emotionlessly.
“I gotta make sure everythin’ is okay,” I argued. I couldn’t explain the nagging feeling in my belly that something was wrong, but I knew better than to ignore it.
“Whatever you do,” Titus said, shaking his head. “Don’t fuckin’ ask for her.”
“I’m not a fuckin’ moron.”
“Recent events prove otherwise.”
“What if she’s not workin’?”
“Then go back later, or I’ll go. That would be better.”
We planned out what I would say if I talked to anyone at the nursery and how I could get Esther alone long enough to make sure she was alright. The next day I called in to work saying I was going to be late, and drove the Mustang over to the Allen nursery, my stomach in knots.