Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
He was quiet for a moment, pensive. He took another drink, then sloshed the liquid around, watching it. “My mother was my best friend,” he said at last, surprising me. Dad didn’t talk about things like this, and while he and Grandpa had made it clear how important she was to both of them, Dad had never told me that. “She was great, always smiling and laughing. She had an infectious personality like…well, like you, if I’m being honest.”
“Like me?” I’d expected him to say like Maddy.
“Yes, like you. There’s something very dynamic about you, Grant. People like you, they respect you, they pay attention to you, and…you’re kind, like she was, but also with a wicked, stubborn streak.” He chuckled good-naturedly, a softness to his voice I wasn’t used to hearing from him. “She was always determined to do things her way, to do what she wanted, just like you do. I loved that about her when I was a kid. She was the only person my father ever listened to. She smoothed out his rough edges. He was extremely hard on me, even more demanding than I am of you, only I listened and, well…” He gave me an unsure smile. It was maybe the first time in my life that my dad had looked at me with vulnerability in his eyes.
“Mom taught me how to play piano, but I was never as good as you. I just couldn’t catch on. I used to get so upset at myself because I wanted to be good at it like her, for her. I wanted to be a concert pianist, but I didn’t have it in me.”
“Really? That’s…surprising.”
“Yes, I suppose it is.” He looked down, tracing the edge of the glass with his finger. “I stopped playing when I was a teenager, like you; not because I didn’t love it, but because I wasn’t good enough at it. When Mom died, it crushed me. I was sixteen, and Dad was… He was lost without her. We both were, but we pretended we weren’t because he didn’t believe in showing weakness.”
Dad took in a deep breath, one that felt like he hoped it would cleanse his past. “I didn’t want to go into commercial real estate. I did it because my father said I should, that there was money to be made and I would be good at it. I was good at doing what he said. I would have done anything to make him proud. Sometimes I thought I hated him, while others I wanted to be like him. All I knew was I loved him, but I was never quite good enough for him, and…and I’ve spent your life making you feel the same way. I guess I became my father in more ways than I’d planned.”
I was speechless. I didn’t know what to do or say. I had never in a million years expected him to say anything like that to me.
“I don’t want to be him, Grant—Hutch—not in this.”
I sucked in a breath, surprised at the name. “I don’t want that either. I want us to have a better relationship than we’ve had, but I need you to know that Ryder is in my life for good. That’s not going to change. I love you, Dad, but I need you to accept him too.”
“Don’t go easy on me, do you?” He gave me a humorless smile. “Your mother and I talked…the night after Maddy’s Fight. She told me as much—about you and Ryder, I mean. She could see it that night, and she also said, and I quote, ‘It’s time to get your shit together, Grant, because I’m not going to lose my son because of you.’ She gave me a week to talk to you. I was trying to figure out what to say, but you beat me to it.”
My chest got tight, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable kind. It wasn’t due to panic, but like my heart was too damn big to fight there. “She said that to you?”
“Your mother loves you. Sometimes it takes her a little while to get to the point where she sets me straight, but she always does. Even if she didn’t, she would for you.”
“So is that why we’re talking? Because she’s forcing you?” That changed things.
“No, we’re talking because you’re right and I’m wrong. We’re talking because you’re my son and I love you and because you’re a bigger man than I am and beat me to it. Acknowledging I’m wrong isn’t easy for me. I feel like my father is standing over my shoulder and telling me all the things I’m doing wrong, and if I admit to it, that makes it even worse. That’s not an excuse, but it’s my truth. I’m not perfect, Hutch. I’ll screw up, and I’m not going to pretend I love or even like this Ryder idea, but I don’t want to lose you. I want to fix this. I don’t want to be my father.”