Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I didn’t try to stop him. Maybe I needed space too. Hutch was a reminder of what I’d lost. “Thanks for the coffee.”
He gave a simple nod and walked away, an unfamiliar tightness in my chest all that he left behind.
5
Hutch
I didn’t know why seeing Ryder today had me so shaken up. Maybe it was partly because what I did at Children’s Hospital—volunteering in the cancer center and being Layla’s buddy—was something I did just for me. It wasn’t even at the facility I worked at, though everyone knew me there. I was at Atlanta General, another thing my dad didn’t understand about me. Did people who weren’t born in the same areas of town as us not deserve the same care? I knew he didn’t believe that. He was the kind of man who gave back, who tried to help others, but I guess he did it in neat, tidy ways—fundraisers and charity donations—while I preferred to be in the middle of it.
Layla had acute lymphoblastic leukemia, which had a long treatment. It had been about a year and a half so far, and I’d been her buddy from the start. No one knew about the time I spent with those kids at all, or Layla, yet now Ryder did.
Because he was doing the same thing.
I couldn’t wrap my brain around it.
I changed, planning on heading to Piedmont Park, which was within walking distance from my condo, for a jog and to work off some energy, when my friend Isaac called and decided to meet me there. He and I had gotten pretty close over the years. Isaac was…well, he was a good time. He was one of those types who lived life to the fullest, jumping before thinking, getting himself into weird situations. He’d actually had a stalker once, not that that was his fault, but weird things just seemed to follow Isaac around. He didn’t take life too seriously. Sometimes I wished I could be more like that.
“What have you been up to today?” he asked as we stretched.
“Not much. You?”
“Same ole, same ole.”
“Yeah, I hear you. Same here. How’s your brother doing?” He and Isaac were close.
“Stepbrother,” Isaac surprised me by saying. They basically grew up together, and I’d never heard him specify that before. “Lane’s okay.” He shoved to his feet. “We gonna jog or what, old man?”
“I’m not much older than you.”
“Yeah, but you act like it.” Isaac winked.
“Fucker,” I tossed his way before standing.
Isaac and I went on our run, teasing and joking the whole time.
“Do you want to come over for dinner?” I asked, immediately regretting the question. That was absolutely the wrong way to feel. I shouldn’t put off real-life plans so I could talk to some random guy online.
“Nah, thanks. I need to get back. We should go out soon, though. I’ll help you get laid.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need your help.”
He patted my shoulder, laughing. “Whatever you say, buddy.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“But you love me!” Isaac replied, walking backward toward his car.
I rolled my eyes. “I like you a little bit.”
I walked home, showered, then made parmesan chicken for an early dinner, needing something to distract me.
It was evening now, and I sat outside on my balcony, listening to the cars, horns, and life below, wondering why I hadn’t told Ryder how I understood what he’d been through because I was bi. Frankly, I wondered how he didn’t know. There was no way his family hadn’t heard, but then, it had only been about three years since I was out, so maybe they hadn’t.
For a moment, I thought about messaging my mechanic but then nixed the idea. I didn’t let myself depend on anyone, yet I was doing so with this guy I didn’t even know? I’d already messaged him after the shitty dinner with my parents. It was ridiculous, and I’d be better served by going out and having fun or fucking, or hell, even asking him to meet up and fuck. This whole weird friendship, talking nightly like we were more than we were, didn’t make any sense.
But then my phone buzzed with a notification. I pulled it off the table and looked, a smile teasing at the corners of my lips when I saw it was him.
GoodWithHisHands: So…today was… Hell, I don’t even know. Good in some ways and a disaster in others. I’m trying not to focus on the disaster parts…and God damn it. Why am I messaging you about it? This is some weird-ass shit. Also, I’m not usually such a downer.
I laughed.
TheDoctorIsIn: It’s as if you took the words right out of my head. My day was similar… I almost messaged you, but I already got emotional once, after that thing with my family, so I wasn’t going to let that shit out again. There’s only so much I can handle of those pesky…feelings. But now you’ve opened the can of worms, so we can be mopey together.